


Chemistry

by an_aggravated_bisexual



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Chemistry, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Femslash, Friendship/Love, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-10-07 17:28:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10365798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an_aggravated_bisexual/pseuds/an_aggravated_bisexual
Summary: Chemistry:Noun (u) / ˈkɛmɪstri/The complex emotional or physical pull between people.It cannot be forced or subsided.(Slight Au)





	1. Chapter 1

Chemistry:

Noun (u) / ˈkɛmɪstri/

The first thing I felt when our eyes locked.

 

 _Crap._ I’m late. On one of the first days too, way to make an impression Riley. Wonderfully organized me managed to miss the bus, resulting in me trekking to school on foot and sprinting down the halls to registration. Lord only knows how I made it passed Ms. Hills at reception. Perhaps luck is on my side today.

On that exact thought, I realise I’m about to sprint right past my registration classroom. I slam the breaks on my feet and skid a bit too much for my liking, before landing with my hand on the doorknob and tumbling head-first into the room. I’m on the floor now, which happens so often I really should have formed a resistance to it by now. “Ah, Miss Matthews. Glad to see you could join us.” Mr Turners voice is purposefully deadpan, but I can hear the underlying amusement. I scramble up onto my feet and attempt to organise my scattered notes, “Sorry Mr. Turner, I missed the bus this morning.” “Well,” He counters, only looking up from his paperwork now, “Don’t let it happen again or I’ll have to send you to your fathers’ office.” I internally wince, heading towards my desk and rubbing my elbow as I check for bruises. I don’t enjoy people being reminded that I’m the principals’ daughter but I suppose it could be worse. Up until last year he taught me history as well.

I collapse in my seat and lay my head in my hands, only for my half slumber to be disrupted by a quiet, “Riley.” As Farkle clears his throat from the desk closest to mine. “What is it Farkle?” I groan out, wishing for a moment of peace. “I believe that Farkle is trying to alert you of the person next to you Riley.” Chimes in Smackle, from my diagonal. Pulling my head out of my hands I turn to the seat next to me to find that it isn’t in its usual state of emptiness. Instead I find myself face to face with what is possibly the most gorgeous human being I have ever encountered, eyeing me with an amused smirk and bright blue eyes filled with mischief. “You must be Riley.”

It takes me a moment to realise that she was actually addressing me, but any reply I could have formed is cut off by Mr. Turner clearing his throat at the front, “Riley, Maya. Maya, Riley.” His arms gesture between us as he continues, “Maya is new here. Riley, seeing as you’re not part of an assigned pair, I’m sure it’s no trouble for you to show her around?” He stands poised, waiting for an answer, but it seems that I have lost the ability of coherent thought. “Riley? Is that alright with you?” My eyes flicker between him and the goddess next to me, barely registering the situation when an unwanted, “I love it.” Hurtles out of my mouth. I hear muffled laughter, my friends finding it hilarious as Mr. Turner cocks an eyebrow and walks back to the front.

Lucas leans towards Maya from his desk, “Be careful with that one, those words can lead to a whole lotta heartbreak.” I turn around and shoot him a glare. He returns it with his famous cowboy smile and tips his invisible hat. I roll my eyes at his teasing, knowing fully well there was no real malice behind it. I hear a snort from the seat next to his, Zay making his thoughts known, “More like a shit ton of rebounds and a month full of dragging your helpless mates along to double dates.” I let out my own snort at this, quieting it with the back of my hand, just in time to hear Maya turn her attention to Lucas. “I’ll keep that in mind, Ranger Rick.”

Maya’s impish poking at Lucas’s country accent, something he still isn’t quite able to shake off, throws the group into fits of laughter. I hear my own laugh among theirs, but my mind was nowhere near them. I’m transfixed in the girl next to me. How the hell am I the only one seeing this? The light in the room bounces off of her golden waves, creating a halo around her face. It lit up the pale, clear skin of her neck and shoulders and I swear it was fixed on her lips, or maybe that was just me. My eyes take in her face before focussing on the blue orbs that I swear had to be made out of pure crystal. I allow myself to get so lost in them, that it takes me a while before I realise that the eyes I’m staring into are currently staring straight back into mine

This is probably where I’m supposed to avert my gaze but that is the opposite of what I find myself doing. Her gaze is unwavering on mine and I don’t think I could pull my eyes away if I tried. I feel a tug deep in my stomach, making me unable to look away from the girl in front of me and by the look in her eyes she’s experiencing the same phenomenon. I feel pulled towards her; like I’m on the edge of a cliff and she’s the rushing river beneath me, seducing me until I lean so far I fall or willingly jump. This is certainly new. Perhaps luck is on my side after all.

The moment we shared is cut off abruptly by the bell for first lesson going off. Finally able to regain my composure I move to grab my things. “So, I’m showing you around then.” I offer her a friendly grin and silently pray that it doesn’t come across as nervous as I felt. It’s rather comical, I’m the one who’s nervous on her first day, and if I were anyone else I would laugh. “I guess so.” She answers wryly and pulls out her schedule, handing it to me. “Lead the way Captain.” I scan the schedule and attempt to match it up with mine. We don’t have every subject together, but we have enough for me to not be late to every class. But looking up at the clock, I realise we’re going to be late anyway if we don’t move. I get up and I don’t even have to wait a second before she’s next to me, which is an impressive feat seeing as she’s about 5’ to my 5’5”. “Where’re we headed?” She asks me as we basically power-walk down the halls. “Room 205,” I answer, “Chemistry.”


	2. Chapter 2

Chemistry:

Noun (u) / ˈkɛmɪstri/

The first lesson we shared.

We step through the door seconds before the late bell. I scan the room for empty seats before noticing Lucas and Zay standing not so subtly behind a station with their bags sitting on the one behind it. I flash a smile at them, silently thanking them as Maya and I make our way to the seats and they take the station behind us. It’s just the four of us in this lesson, Farkle and Smackle taking AP chemistry.

I’m normally a reasonably good student and I enjoy this class, but today I can’t seem to concentrate. I have a feeling it may be because of the petite blonde sitting next to me. It’s a bit hard to hear what Mrs. Hennily is saying when I’m constantly stealing glances next to me, possibly failing at any sort of discretion. ”Miss Matthews, care to give us the evidence in favour of dual behaviour in an electron?”

“Huh?” I snap my head towards the front where Mrs. Hennily stands looking pointedly at me. “You’re distracted today, try to re-enter the lecture please.” I look down at the table, flushing at her disappointed tone, I’m normally able to answer questions without a second of hesitation. I do my best to get into the right stage of mind, attempting to redeem myself by raising my hand and answering her next question.  

“Are you usually this active in lessons?” Maya asks me after we’ve been given an activity. I look around, not expecting her to casually strike up a conversation with me, before whispering back, “Not really, but Mrs. Hennily knows I know the answers and calls on me. I think it’s her way of trying to make me ‘an active participant in class discussion’.”

Maya let’s out a quiet snort and I marvel at how she manages to pull it off gracefully. “Me, I prefer being an active participant in life.” She responds and gives me a wry smile, turning back to face the front again. We engage in idle conversation during the class, probably just because Maya is bored, but it still warms my cheeks. When the bell rings I’m almost annoyed, but I remind myself not to get attached. She’s probably only talking to me because I’m leading her around the school.

We exit the classroom and I conjure up the schedules in my head. I have AP English now, while she has Art history. I’m about to show her the way when Zay offers to walk her, I instantly remember he takes Art history as well. Maya smiles and thanks him, not bothered in the slightest. I watch them round the corner together and feel a twinge in my chest. I shake my head. I just met this girl, I have no right to feel jealous.

* * *

“Falling already?” I don’t even notice Lucas walking with me to class, one that I recall we share, until he speaks up from beside me. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I tuck a lock of hair behind my ears, keeping my eyes firmly on the ground. “Riley, don’t shit with me.” He touches my arm lightly and I pull my eyes onto his momentarily. “I know that look, it’s the same look you used to direct at me.” I can hear a trace of bitterness in his voice and I hope I’m imagining it. We walk the rest of the way to class in silence. I’m actually on time to this class, taking a seat at one of the single desks near the back, Lucas taking the desk to the left of me. Farkle and Smackle join us in this class, almost all their subjects being AP. They take single desks in front of us, shooting smiles of familiarity as they walk in.

The lesson seems to drag on and I find myself losing focus again, though of course this time for a different reason. Glancing at the clock for the fifth time I let my mind drift slightly, though attempting to remain aware of my surroundings. I don’t want a repeat of last period. The memory of Maya’s eyes on mine pops into my head. How did she have such an effect on me? I’m well aware of the fact that I was pansexual. My friends are really supportive, Zay being bi and Smackle demi-sexual. I’ve been with girls before, though admittedly in more of a casual way, but it had never felt quite like this. I decide to just keep calm, and wait a couple of days to see if it fizzles out.

We’re given work which I somehow manage to finish, allowing me to put my head on the desk and block out the world. When the bell finally rings my reaction greatly contrasts with that of the end of first lesson. I practically jump as I grab my things and scuttle towards the cafeteria, knowing I’ll find Zay and Maya (mostly Maya) there.

“What’s the hurry princess?” Soon Lucas, Farkle and Smackle catch up to me. “God Riley,” Smackle protests, struggling to keep up, “The food’s not going anywhere.” “I’m sorry,” I mumble as I slow my pace down to a painstaking stroll, “I’m just hungry I guess.” “Right.” Lucas drags the word and the bitterness is back. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who hears it as the group falls silent. I’m pretty sure I see Farkle nudge him and give him a pointed look out the corner of my eye.

We arrive at the cafeteria and I see Zay has lead Maya to our booth tucked in the corner. We claimed it as our own in sophomore year; it was slightly away from all the other tables, making us feel more like we could be ourselves. We buy our lunch and head towards them, myself admittedly faster than everyone else. I slide into the booth next to Zay, across from Maya. She smiles at me as I settle, her eyes shining a silent _hello_.

The others arrive soon after and the conversation flows easily between us. Maya fits in so easily it’s as if she was meant to be here, like we’ve been keeping a spot for her without even knowing it. I’m glad she seems so at ease with us; it must be hard transferring into a new school in senior year, a week late no less. “So Maya,” her eyes snap to mine, “Why are you only here now?”

 She chokes on her wrap as she tries to reply. She splutters as Lucas claps her on the back. Her eyes water as she glugs down her bottle. “Jeez Maya, are you okay?” Farkle eyes her, seemingly unable to figure out what triggered her coughing fit. “Yeah,” she coughs once more and clears her throat, “I just choked on a large piece of chicken.” She falls silent and gazes at her plate. Zay chuckles before cracking an innuendo, “Maya, if you choke so easily I don’t think this’ll work out very well.”

I slap Zay on the arm, aghast at his joke. Smackle smirks and replies, “It’s okay, I can handle it.” “Smackle!” Farkle reprimands. She smiles teasingly at him and shrugs, both of them knowing he’s the only one she wants. “Don’t worry Zay,” we turn our attention back to Maya, “I’m pretty good with my mouth when I want to be.” She winks and I feel heat rush to my cheeks. Zay stares at Maya with his mouth slightly agape. “Wow.” Lucas speaks up for the first time the entire meal, “I think you rendered him speechless, this is certainly a first.” Zay glares at Lucas, breaking out of his semi-trance as the rest of us chuckle.

* * *

The bell rings, making us resurface out of the safe, comfortable space we have created with one another. I drop Maya off at her trigonometry class on my way to economics, her face letting me know it’s the last place she wants to be. “You alright there?” I ask outside the door. “Well, this subject kinda blows, and of course parting is such sweet sorrow.” She scrunches her nose teasingly, and I feel a slight blush form. “I-uh, I guess I’ll rescue you after class then?”

“You’re gonna save me huh?” she chuckles but I feel like her words go deeper than she lets on. “I am.” I smile softly at her before begrudgingly turning away from her and entering the swarm of pupils heading to class. An easy smile forms on my face, from where I’m not too sure. I let it settle on my lips, absorbing the authenticity of it. Not everyone can make me smile like that and it’s been a while since I’ve been able to trust someone so easily. I remember a time when I used to be so open with my emotions. I was brave and free and I didn’t care about what anyone else had to say about it.  I wasn’t _weird_ in my mind, I was _unique_. But then...

My breath hitches and I feel the smile fall off of my face. _Another moment ruined._ I taste the bitterness of my thoughts on my tongue. I regret not telling someone when it was going on, perhaps I wouldn’t be such a wallflower if I had handled things a little different. _But what would you be? That weird, happy girl. A freak? A vulnerable loser freak._ I shake my head. Deep breaths Riley. You can’t be hurt any more. I was naive, I believed the best in people. I was vulnerable to the evil around me. Maybe it’s for the best after all.

I arrive to economics, my feet lagging behind me as I put one foot in front of the other to get into the classroom. I find a seat and slouch into it, my mood successfully dissipated.  I can barely pay attention in this lesson either, I really need to get it together. If I keep this up I’m going to be the first Matthews’ to drop out of high school. I attempt to pull myself out of my funk and into the current topic we’re debating, and it worked to some extent. I was even able to give a half-decent answer when Mr. Ritztien asked me my opinion on the topic.

“Good point Ms. Matthews, and I think we can bring our discussion to an end today.” He brushes his hands together, eyeing us all. “Now, I hope you were paying attention to today’s discussion, because it’s going to help you a lot with your project.” Quiet groaning was heard throughout the classroom. “Luckily for you all, you’re going to be working with partners.” I inwardly groan, none of my friends are in this class and finding a partner is going to be an unpleasant endeavour. “But unluckily for you,” He continues; the class taken off guard, thinking he had finished speaking, “The partners have already been chosen. By me.” He receives more groans from the class. “I’m going to fetch the list from the printing room now, please don’t make a ruckus while I’m gone.”

He closes the door behind him and the class falls to hushed chatter. I make out snippets of who wants to be with who and why certain people can under no circumstances be paired together. I can’t muster enough energy to tune into anyone’s conversation and instead go over the chemistry notes from earlier. I’m so absorbed in my work that I don’t even notice Mr. Ritztien re-enter the classroom until he speaks.

“I’m going to pin this up on the board here, and you can all come up to check it when the bell goes.” The class returns to their earlier state of mumbled conversation, their interest peaked by having the object of discussion a couple of feet away from them. I go back to my work, determined to get something done today.  A hushed whisper reaches my ears, “Dude, maybe if you get her you can finally lay a move on her.” A soft chuckle follows the statement. “That’s the plan.”

I involuntarily shiver. I was not meant to hear that, and that voice was far too recognizable for me to be at ease. The bell rings at this point, its shrill blare sounding like an ill omen as opposed to a blessing. I take time packing up, the rest of the class surging towards the page at the front. I wonder why it means so much to them. It’s a school project, not an arranged marriage. I get up and walk towards the front, oddly nervous. At least I didn’t have to try scrabble for a partner. It’s going to be fine.

I find myself face to face with a cover page presenting the words, “Project partners.” I understand that it’s there to stop sneaky students from starting on the project early, but currently it sits as if its main purpose is to aggravate me. I lift up the page, scanning the one under it for my name. I find it and look across the line to the name next to mine. “Charlie Gardner.” I may have spoken too soon.  I double check the page, a foul taste forming in my throat. It reads the same. _Well shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Please don't expect such frequent updates, I'm afraid I can't provide that. I hope you enjoyed, feel free to comment/share/offer to satan.


	3. Chapter 3

Chemistry:

Noun (u) / ˈkɛmɪstri/

The connection I do not feel with Charlie Gardner.

This project may be a little more difficult than I previously thought. I was never involved with Charlie, but I’ve known him since middle school and I have to say I’m not his biggest fan. He has hit on me on multiple occasions, not seeming to grasp the clear ‘not interested’ message I threw at him. He also came to talk to me when he found out I was pan. If my memory is not mistaken, the phrase “If I was your boyfriend you wouldn’t be pan,” was said. Sure, he has grown up since then, but above all those previous reasons; he just makes me uncomfortable. His aura gives me bad feelings, and I feel like I should follow my gut on this.

I leave the classroom, heading towards algebra 2, when I am approached by none other than Charlie himself. _Speak a devil’s name and he will appear._ “Hey Riley.” He pushes a hand through his hair before shoving his hand into his pocket as he walks beside me. “So, I’m guessing you’ve seen that we’re paired together?” “I’m aware of this, yes.” He lets out a low chuckle that fills me with apprehension, “Well, I was thinking you could come over and we could work on it. How’s Saturday night?”

“I’m busy that night.” I answer slightly too fast. “What about Friday?” he attempts. “I’m actually busy the entire weekend.” I look down at my feet, hoping he can’t sense the obvious lie. I continue, making sure that this is on my terms, “We can meet in the library on Thursday after school. Bring research with you.” “Got it, see you then Riles.” I cringe at the nickname as I reply with a nonchalant, “Mmhmm.” He moves to head onto a path towards his own class, but as he does he places a hand on the small of my back. As he disappears into the cluster of students I let out an involuntary shiver. _God, he creeps me out._

* * *

 

The rest of the day travels with little event. I strive to pay attention in my classes but ultimately fail and I struggle not to turn into a blushing idiot whenever Maya so much as looks at me for too long. I soon find myself in registration again; this time aware of the person next to me. Perhaps a bit too aware. I’m so entranced by Maya that I don’t even notice the rollcall begin until I receive a nudge from Farkle after Mr Turner has called my name out twice. “Present.” I stammer out, my voice cracking as I grimace in embarrassment. 

“Let’s see if we can get it right the first time tomorrow alright?” Mr. Turner directs at me, I raise my eyes from the desk momentarily to reply with a quiet, “Yes sir.” He nods and continues with the register. Maya taps me on the shoulder and I break out of my inward cringe session and turn towards her. “Hey, um- thanks. For showing me around today.” She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear as she throws me a genuine smile. I return it with my own, “It was a pleasure Ms. Hart, and I hope you’re not sick of me because you don’t know the school after one day.”

“I’ll just have to bare the excruciating pain.” She teases as she holds a hand up to her forehead in mock-horror. “I guess so.” I bite my lip as we fall into a comfortable silence, our eyes remaining connected as I feel the pull towards her strengthen. The moment is ended by the clearing of a throat next to Maya. She turns around to face Lucas, the owner of the throat. “I was wondering if you remember what homework we were given in Spanish?”

 Maya answers his question while I consider his reason for interruption. He always made sure he wrote down homework and Maya was definitely not the only one he could have asked. I don’t buy it, but I decide not to ask him about it. It seems unnecessary and I don’t want to cause any conflict between us. Something about him has been off the entire day. I try not to dwell on it and turn around to talk to Zay as Maya and Lucas continue their conversation.

The bell rings and Mr. Turner dismisses us, the school alive with chatter as people skittle off to their various after school commitments. I walk out with my friends and we head towards a united destination: **Topanga’s**. My mom’s café has been our after-school hangout since she inherited it from the late owner, Mrs. Svorski, in the eighth grade. We invite Maya to join us, but she calls a rain check. It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t disappointed, but I’m fully contented with the people who surround me.

We arrive at the establishment and head inside. We take our usual seats and talk comfortably amongst ourselves. We are the loudest table, as per usual, and anywhere else this would bother me. But here, the building and the people, is so close to home I’m completely unbothered. I allow myself to smile and laugh without fear and I’m so grateful for such an atmosphere.

Despite all this, I do notice that Lucas is still quieter than usual and I decide to check up on him. “Lucas?” I touch his shoulder lightly. “Yeh Riles?” His gaze remains on the homework in front of him, eyebrows are furrowed in concertation. “Are you alright?” He lifts his eyes to find mine and I search them for signs of emotion. They’re thickly guarded as he replies “Of course.” I raise an eyebrow at him, letting him know I can tell something’s up. He turns back towards his homework and I sigh, seeing I’m getting nowhere with him.

Soon everyone is gone except my mother and I. I help her lock up before going upstairs to our apartment. I walk in and flop onto the couch next to my younger brother Augie, who is currently spellbound by a brightly coloured cartoon. “Hello August.” I place my legs over his lap, causing him to glance at me briefly before returning to his programme. “Hi Riley.”

My mother enters soon after me and moves towards the kitchen, where my dad sits marking work, kissing him on the cheek in greeting. I’m quite well-off in the family aspect of my life; two wonderful parents with a reasonably nice apartment. They can be a bit nosy at times, but I really cannot complain.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out to see I have a message from an unsaved number. I feel a chill run through me, but I push down my fears and unlock my phone to look at it. It reads simply, “Hey, It’s Maya.” I smile, my unease melting away as I read the message after that.

“I just thought since you’re kinda stuck with me, at least now we can help each other with homework and stuff.” I reply immediately, asking her playfully who she stalked for this number. “Who you talking to Riles?” Augie’s intrigued eyes try to peer onto the screen. I slip my phone in my pocket and ruffle his hair as I get up. “Just a friend.”

* * *

 

Weeks pass and Maya settles in, but she still sticks with us. I’m glad she didn’t choose to ditch us at the first opportunity, and I’m sure I’m not alone in this. She fashions well with us, to the point where it wouldn’t feel right if she isn’t there. It could be that I’m a bit biased on the subject, or at least Lucas would say so. He’s still acting a bit too strange for my liking, but our group seems to have a silent agreement to leave him be.

 I’m pulled into reality by Maya’s laugh, softly twinkling as she tries to hide it behind her fist. We’re in Literature, one of the only classes we’re all in, and her and Zay are caught up in a pun war. I feel a laugh bubble in my own throat, not from the joke which I didn’t even hear, but from the elation people can find out of stupid jokes. I cover my mouth with my hand silencing it quickly. Maya turns to me, her eyes sparkling as she studies me. I turn my attention back to my work, commanding my face to cool down.

“Why do you that?” She whispers to me from her seat. “Do what?” I whisper back cautiously, wondering what on earth she could be on about. “Every time you look like you’re about to let yourself go, you close up again. It’s like you’re scared to be yourself, why?” Sound bubbles at the back of my throat as I attempt to form it into words, startled by her summary of me.

She continues to observe me; ocean eyes staring me down critically, as if I’m a safe she wishes to crack. I turn away, unnerved by her scrutiny. Is this what she thinks of me? I fear my insecurity shows up more than I would like, or Maya is just extremely perceptive. Either way might be tricky for me, a simple sentence from her being enough to turn my face scarlet.

 I spend the rest of the lesson working on a comprehension while furiously avoiding Maya’s gaze. It isn’t easy, resisting the unknown force causing me to gravitate towards her. I fear I might be a frail planet caught up in an orbit, and as I see the light glint off of her tresses I depict that she may very well be the sun.  “Riley.” My name falls softly off of her lips, and I feel warmth in the pit of my stomach at the sound of it. She places her hand on my shoulder, my head turning to take in her concerned expression.

“I’ll leave it if you don’t want to go into it.” She continues, kind eyes baring into my own, “Just know you can talk to me. I’m a safe space, I promise.” I nod, my mind too much of a mess for me to form intelligible words. I’m glad I decide to wear my hair down today as I use it as a buffer between us. The lesson ends and I start to head to my next class, my head still swirling and heart beating faster than usual.

As I walk I feel a figure sidle up next to me, but I’m too absorbed in my thoughts to pay much attention to it.” Hey Riley.” Charlie Gardner speaks from beside me. I mutter a greeting back, my gaze trained ahead. “So- uh, we haven’t really finished our assignment yet and my friend is throwing a party this Saturday. It’s a chilled thing, but most people are going.” He clears his throat, “I thought we could work on it together at my place, and then go to the party?”

We fall into an awkward silence before I mumble a nonchalant, “Yeah, sure.” He laughs uncomfortably, “Great. You uh- can come around five I guess.” He leaves quickly after that, and as he leaves my head clears enough for me to realise what I just agreed to. _This is not good at all._ My gut tells me to catch up to him and cancel, but I know that would be shady and rude. It would also involve me talking to him more than necessary.

I make my way to my next class, cursing myself for daydreaming and getting into this situation. I think back on my previous meetings with Charlie. I was reasonably on edge the entire time, and he didn’t make it any better with his not so standard physical contact. It wasn’t inappropriate though, and if he didn’t make me so uncomfortable I probably wouldn’t have noticed. He doesn’t seem to be attempting to “lay a move” on me, and I hope for his sake that it stays that way.

* * *

 

“Are you guys gonna go to that party on Saturday?” Zay questions as we sit at Topanga’s. The whole group is here today, including Maya, which I am trying not to seem to ecstatic about. “Sounds like a plan,” Lucas replies, “We can be wing-men again, there’s going to be a lot of fair game.” He looks at me when he says this, as if making sure I hear him. Zay snorts, “Dude, even if I find you a girl, you’ll probably just end up telling her about the time you birthed a horse or some romantic bullshit.” We all crack up, “Besides,” chimes Farkle, “You have an easier job of a wing-man Lucas, Zay has a bigger playing field.”

“Can we carpool?” I ask, not wanting to ride to the party with Charlie, “Just a warning though, we’ll be bringing Charlie too.” Smackle scrunches up her nose, “Isn’t he the one who made the idiotic remarks when you came out?” “That’s the one.” Maya frowns at the newfound information, “Why on earth are you spending time around him?” I explain that we have a project together and go into a fit of laughter when my friends take turns giving over-dramatic condolences.

“It’s not that bad you guys, I promise.” I say in between laughs. “Riley, we both know that you find that guy hella creepy.” States Zay, “It’s written clear on your face whenever he walks into the room.” I shake my head and change the subject, not wanting to focus on my discomfort. “So, who’s driving?” Lucas and Zay immediately get into an argument, both wanting to be the driver. I grin, knowing this would be the outcome. It’s eventually decided that Farkle would be the designated driver, seeing as he was least likely to get smashed.

“So, we’re all set for Saturday?” I confirm, looking around as everyone nods. Maya stays silent and I turn towards her for direct clarification. “Maya, can you make it?” She bites her lip and takes a moment before she replies, as if battling something in her head. “Sure Riles.” I smile softly and attempt not to drown in her eyes before turning back towards the rest of the group. “So, we’re set then.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovelies! Just wanted to let you know that I will try to update weekly, but I'm only human so no promises.....  
> Q: Do you prefer writing on paper or typing?


	4. Chapter 4

Chemistry:

Noun (u) / ˈkɛmɪstri/

A lesson in which Maya is informally introduced to Missy and Rucas.

Fridays are normally my best day of the week, but this one seems to be dragging so long I’m afraid it will be Monday by the end of it. I drum my pen on the desk as I try not to count the seconds passing by. Suddenly Maya’s hand is on top off mine, and suddenly breathing is a thing of myth. “Stop that.” She pleads, “That sound is killing me.” She removes her hand and I take in a slow breath, tapping the back on the pen on the desk once more. She gives me a glare that would make anyone else cower but I simply grinned back at her, keen with mischief.

She rolls her eyes and turns towards the front. My joyfulness fades as I hear the venomous voice of Missy Bradford, talking to god knows who, “And I actually couldn’t believe how socially stupid this girl could be. God, top of the class and not a single clue on how to hold a conversation.” There’s a slight pause in the conversation as someone replies, before Missy laughs, “And god did you see that dress? I hope her mother still dresses her because otherwise there is absolutely no hope.” _What is wrong with her? Is it really necessary to be wearing your ass as a hat so consistently?_

I inhale deeply and attempt to pull my blood pressure back to its normal rate. “Who’s she?” Maya questions, leaning her head in a gesture towards Missy. I lean slightly towards her, despite the tug in my stomach at the closeness, so as not to be heard by Ms. Hennily.” “That’s Missy Bradford,” I continue in a hushed tone, “I suppose you could call her the queen bee if you had to place a cliché on her.” “I’m going to assume you two aren’t going to have a sleepover this weekend.” She smirks playfully. I grimace, “Not quite. Her and I aren’t exactly on the best terms; she had a thing for Lucas and when I dated him, she didn’t take kindly to it.” I leave out a particular part in the saga as I scrunch my nose up, “I try to stay under her radar these days, she’s not really the type of person you want to be on the bad side of.”

“And by that, Riley means she’s a complete bitch.” Zay chimes in from the desk behind us. “Zay!” I chide him, but Maya seems to barely hear him, her slightly ruffled gaze on me. She quirks her brow, “You and Lucas were together?” It comes out more of a statement than a question, but I reply nonetheless, “Yeh. We dated for about two years, but it just wasn’t right, you know?” I offer her a lopsided smile. “Our hearts just weren’t in it I guess; we decided we were better off friends.”

She stays silent for a good few seconds; her eyes looking miles away, before letting out a quiet, “Oh.” She bites her lip and shifts to face the front again. I follow suit, even though I know fully well that I wasn’t going to concentrate now. _What was that about?_ I think back on her reaction; I’ve never heard her use that tone of voice before. It seemed so disgruntled. _Oh god, was it jealousy?_ _Is she interested in Lucas?_ My stomach turns at the thought.

“Hey, are you okay?” I catch Maya by the arm as we leave Chemistry. “What?” She exclaims, looking at me as if she was deep in thought and just realised I was there.” You didn’t talk to me the rest of class and were completely zoned out the entire time.” I pull us to the side of the hallway, not wanting to be trampled by the herd of students heading towards the cafeteria. “Oh, sorry.” She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and smiles sheepishly. “I guess I was just distracted.” “Well, l-let’s go get some food. You’re probably just hungry.” I manage to stutter out. _She’s so beautiful_. I push these thoughts out of my head as we walk towards the cafeteria, I can’t allow myself to think this way.

We step into the line to get food and I feel my stomach growl. “Good morning Martha, the food looks amazing.” I greet the woman on the other side of the trays, who smiles at me warmly. “Riley Matthews, would you like a fruit?” I take the apple she offers me and continue down the line. I hear Maya greet her after me and I grin. “Am I turning the mysterious rebel soft?” I jibe at her as we walk towards our booth. “You wish.” She rolls her eyes at me with an amused smile. I slide in next to her in the booth and have to recover quickly when her leg sits softly against mine.

It moves away from me as she shifts to face me, and I almost miss the contact. “So,” she points her fork at me as she continues, “What’s your role here?” I swallow my mouthful of potato and frown in confusion, “Huh?” “Well, if Missy is Queen ultra bitch and I’m mysterious rebel,” She smiles at the title, “What are you? What’s your thing?” I think hard for a moment but I come out fruitless. “Um- I’m afraid I’m not all that interesting, my reputation isn’t very well formed.” I shrug as I take another mouthful of food. Maya sizes me up for a moment before replying, “Well, for someone who doesn’t have a reputation, you sure do care a lot about it.”

I gape at her before shaking myself out of my stupor. “What are you trying to say?” I raise my eyebrows at her as she expands, “You’re always looking around, making sure nobody can hear you. You’re scared to be too loud, too out there. Why do you care what people think about you?” “Woah, heavy stuff you’re going into Hart.” Lucas slides into the booth at that moment, followed quickly by Zay, Farkle and Smackle. “Shut it Huckleberry.” Maya reprimands. I stare at my tray, refusing to look at anyone.

Farkle is the first one to break the silence. “Maya,” he says softly, knowing this is a touchy subject for me, “Riley wasn’t always the quiet one. She was insecure, yeah, but she was an extrovert anyway.” I feel Smackle squeeze my shoulder from across the table and I look up at her. Her eyes are filled with startling understanding. As soon as the moment happens, it’s over. I’m a little surprised, Smackle rarely shows affection. We’re aware that this is because of her Asperger’s Syndrome, and we love and care for her nonetheless.

“Did something happen Riley?” Maya places her hand on my leg and searches my face for answers. “I really don’t want to talk about this.” My voice is a wavering whisper and I struggle to keep my emotions in check as Maya nods her head and turns back to her food. Zay clears his throat, hating the silence, “So what fruit do you think describes you best?” Laughter erupts across the table from Zays’ attempt at small talk and the mood is immediately lightened. I feel myself relax as I chuckle, “Oh come on Zay, this is Childs play. You’re a pineapple, Smackle is a kiwi, Farkle is a tangerine, Lucas is a pear and Maya,” I pause and catch sight of the fruit sitting on her tray, “Maya is a peach.”

I’m greeted with strange looks, but before long I find myself caught up in a debate about the way in which one’s personality influences the type of fruit they’d be. _Friendship is a truly wonderful thing_. “No but you see,” Farkle states, getting into the discussion, “Surely one should relate one’s personality to the taste of a fruit? That being salty, tangy, sweet or sour?” Lucas counters that point as he jumps in, “I think that it would be a better to measure the fruit by colour according to personality.”

Smackle cuts them both off as she brings in her own say, “Technically neither of those ways work scientifically as they are both unreal units of measurement.” I turn towards Maya, who is slowly shaking her head, undoubtedly trying to grasp the situation. “What is wrong with you people?” I laugh at her confusion as I playfully poke her shoulder, “It’s pretty awesome inside peaches.”

She raises an eyebrow at the nickname before smirking, “I’m sure it would be awesome if I was inside honey.” I hide my furious blush in my hands as she chuckles at my discomfort _. Was that flirting? This girl is not going to be good for my health._

* * *

 

Saturdays. A day of recreation and relaxation, or in my case: a day in which I have to study with a person I’d rather not be around, and then proceed to go to a party and partake in some more social interaction. _Oh joy._ I roll out of bed, having gone for a jog in the morning only to crash into bed the moment I got back. I perch up onto the seat of my bay window and survey the outside world. Letting the sight of glittering buildings and flowing rows of cars entrance me, I stretch out languidly and soak up the sun that streams in. It’s a beautiful day, I really just need a cup of coffee to help get some optimism going.

I rub my bleary eyes as I check the time. It’s two O’clock, meaning I have about two and a half hours before I have to leave the house. I read the note left on the fridge; it’s from my parents and Augie, letting me know they went out a bit after I went back to sleep. I put on loud music, letting it play throughout the house as I dance around clumsily. I grab my notes and work on some homework, occasionally breaking into song. I might as well enjoy the moments of peace alone, while they last.

I make myself a quick late lunch and watch the next episode of the series I’m currently working through. My phone buzzes and I smile as Maya’s name appears on the screen. It’s a message reminding me to send Farkle Charlies’ address. I realise that time has in fact passed, and that I need to get ready pronto if I wanted to get the project done today.

After a quick shower, I survey my closet closely. I’m not really in the mood to dress up, but I suppose we are going to a party. _I can bear it just this once._ I carefully examine potential pieces of clothing. I eventually go with a pair of high-waisted black jeans, tucking a white tank top into them and throwing a loose long sleeve button up over it. I smile at myself in the mirror; the soft pink of the open button up complementing my skin tone and the black ravens printed on it adding a form of pattern to an otherwise plain outfit. I step into a pair of black lace-up boots; the heel not high enough to make me tower over the population, but high enough to achieve a look.

After applying a quick layer of makeup and brushing out my hair, I take one last look at myself and am surprised by the confidence I feel. I stuff my notes into my bag before grabbing my keys and leaving the apartment. I step out onto the street, head held high and shoulders back as I hail a taxi. I haven’t felt this content with myself in a while and I’m going to milk it while I can.

I hop into the cab and tell the driver Charlies’ address. I message the address to Farkle while it’s still on my mind and then proceed to look out of the window as we drive. I get lost in the bustle of the streets, watching as the scenery turns from bumper-to-bumper city streets to open-road suburban area. We eventually pull up at an average house with a perfectly manicured lawn. I pay the cab driver and wish him a good day before stepping up to the house and knocking on its white hardwood door.

The door swings back to reveal a smiling Charlie, hair slicked back and top button of his shirt undone. “Hey Riles.” I inwardly cringe, wishing he would stop calling me that. He pulls me into a hug, his hands dangerously close to my butt, which I quickly untangle myself from as I return his greeting. He pulls the door back, allowing me to brush past him and enter the house. It’s unremarkable - white with lightwood flooring and the occasional patterned rug. Nothing to write home about, but nothing that screamed ‘Serial killer’, which I took to be a good sign.

He leads me to a dining room table which I set my bag onto. Neither of us say anything for a moment, him expecting me to say something and me remaining silent. He clears his throat, “Well-uh, take a seat I guess.” I pull out a chair and sit down, taking out my notes. “I’m going to go grab my stuff quickly.” He jogs out of the room and I survey the house in closer detail from my seat. They have very few pictures on the wall, but the ones that were there seemed nice enough. They all contained smiling people, members of the family I guess. Charlie reappears, now cradling a stack of papers in his arms. He takes the seat next to me, despite the fact that the entire table is still free to sit at. He sets down his papers and smiles at me, looking me up and down as he does so. _I really hope he doesn’t keep this up._

“Do you want a beer or something? We’ve got in the fridge.” He asks after another awkward string of silence. “Water is fine, thank you.” I reply, definitely not wanting to get drunk while we’re working on a project, with him no less. He puts his hand on my thigh as he gets up and I shiver as he walks into the adjoined kitchen. He comes back with two glasses and puts them in front of us. “We’d better get started then.” I state briskly.

* * *

 

We work for a good two hours and finish off the project, an achievement I’m extremely grateful for. We run through it a couple of times, before resolving into casual conversation (admittedly more casual on his side). “You look really great tonight Riley.” I thank him and send him a genuine smile. _Maybe I’m just being stupid about the whole thing? He really doesn’t seem too bad. Sure, he said some stupid things, but he’s grown up since then. Maybe that conversation wasn’t about you, maybe it wasn’t what it sounded like. Maybe he’s a decent guy after all._

“You’re a really great girl Riley.” I thank him again, deciding to just relax and take the compliment. I normally have good instincts when it comes to people, but I could’ve been wrong. I flush at the thought, feeling suddenly ashamed at my assumptions. _Am I a bad person for thinking he’s a creep? I mean, I can’t control how uncomfortable I get around him. Maybe I just judged him too quickly? Oh god, I’m such an awful person._

I’m so entrapped in my thoughts that I don’t hear Charlie start to speak again. I quickly tune in but only catch the last few words of his sentence, “-so I guess that’s why I really wanted you to go to this party with me.” I’m unable to stop the surprise materialising on my face. I quickly neutralise my expression, “Sorry, I didn’t catch that.” He swallows hard and looks me up and down again, a shiver goes down my spine. _Stop it Riley. You’re being an idiot, he’s probably a nice guy._

“Well I-uh,” He coughs and clears his throat before continuing, “You’re really cool. Smart, funny, hot. You may be a bit of a weirdo but it’s cute on you.” I frown at him, perplexed at where he seems to be going with this. “So-um. You’re a hot girl, I’m a likeable guy.” He flashes me a white-toothed smile, the moment is too painfully awkward to compute. “Do you see where I’m going with this?” He asks, eyes searching mine.

I shake my head and standing up, “Charlie I-“ He cuts me off, standing up and taking a step towards me, “Riley, whatever you’re about to say, I’ve already thought about it. This is what I want Riles, I promise.” I shake my head and take a step back, trying to put as much distance between us as possible. He steps forward, blocking my attempts. He places his hands on my forearms and in this moment, I honestly think I may just aim a sharp kick to his nether regions.

My mind is in a flurry, calculating and rating the various ways to get out of this situation. _Holy shit. I take it back._ He begins to lower his head, eyes closing and lips puckered. At this point, I’m either going to have to kiss Charlie Gardner, or have him kiss his life goodbye. _Or neither._ In a sudden moment of clarity, I duck out of the way, allowing him to kiss the air in the space I leave behind. I break free of his grasp and quickly move across the room. “No thank you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hello people of the internet! Not gonna lie to you guys, I didn't write the entire week. Ya'll're (oh the joys of abbreviation.) just lucky it was pre-written ;) 
> 
> My shittyness (?) aside, answer from last weeks’ question: I prefer writing on paper. Typing does give you that nice clicky sound but nothing beats pencil on paper in my humble opinion. 
> 
> Q: How often do you write?


	5. Chapter 5

Chemistry:

Noun (u) / ˈkɛmɪstri/

Something that is heightened in a party atmosphere.

A hoot sounds from outside and I catapult towards the door and away from this situation. “Our ride is here.” I call to Charlie over my shoulder as I shove my notes into my bag and open the door. My head is swimming and I’m not too sure if I’m actually awake right now. _At least now he probably gets the hint._ I’m practically sprinting, but I don’t know why I bother; we’re his ride there. I consider leaving him here, but decide against it. I’ll simply ignore him instead, and let that and the sting of rejection sate me. 

 I’m soon joined by Charlie, who jogs to catch up with me. I’m hop into the back of the pickup truck hastily, greeted by Lucas, Zay and Maya as I do so. Charlie is quick to follow and the greeting is less enthusiastic, but at least they weren’t downright rude. I honestly don’t think I’d care if they were at this point. _What the hell was that boy thinking. At least it’s over now._

I push the thoughts out of my head, filing the memories in the ‘Strictly do not open’ compartment. I make my way over to sit but falter as I take in Maya’s outfit. She’s dressed in a red and black flannel shirt, sleeves rolled up to her elbows, tucked into a black skater skirt. Paired with plain black combat boots and a delicate choker containing a small red stone, she’s effortlessly striking. I suddenly feel very underdressed in my garb and run my fingers through my hair as I sit cross-legged next to her.

“Hey Riles.” She smiles sweetly at me, seeming slightly shaken herself. I wonder if she’s nervous to be going to this party, but it didn’t seem like something Maya would fear. I make a silent pact with myself not to leave her nonetheless, not that I’d want to anyway. The ride is indescribably calm, with Smackle and Farkle rolling down their windows and blaring music for us to hear from where we sit.

We pull into a free spot on the road, the party already in full swing. I feel a familiar anxiousness fill me but as Maya takes my hand to help me get up, it falls away. I’m standing up next to her now but our hands remain interlocked, neither one of us letting go. We move to hop off and her hand slips from mine. I resist the urge to reach out for her as we walk towards the house. The street is alive with the sound of pumping base and laughter. The sun now barely a blip on the horizon, we’re lit up by starlight. I see Farkle put an arm around Smackle, pulling her into him as they walk. I smile to myself as she leans into the contact, happy to see my friends so blissfully comfortable with each other.

We’re fashionably late at most, but Styrofoam cups already litter the front lawn and as we step into the house we’re hit with an immediate change in temperature. My eyes adjust as I take in the scene before me. Music blares over the speakers as a sweaty clump of bodies surge to the beat. Various couches sit at points in the room, though most of them are occupied by bodies pushed together in a slightly different way. Across the room is a screen door leading to a porch followed by a grassy slope and to the left of it is the kitchen, containing snacks and no doubt a never-ending flow of alcohol.

We all seem to have the same idea as we head towards the kitchen, dodging people as we go along. Lucas spots a bottle of a vodka and swiftly pores us each a shot. I have absolutely no idea where he found the shot glasses, but he seems to be a wizard when it comes to this stuff. “Drink up.” He smirks as he thrusts a miniature glass into our hands. I throw my head back and relish in the sting it leaves in my throat, quickly fading into an underlying warmth. I don’t normally drink, but tonight seems like it’s going to be an exception.

* * *

 

Hours pass, and I watch as everyone gets progressively drunker, myself included. I don’t drink quite as much as most though, shown by the fact that I have yet to career towards the nearest bathroom. However; I do drink just enough to let loose, and I can tell it is a change that Maya likes. I’m surrounded by sweat and pulsing lights as we dance, my moves clumsy and inept and her looking like she does this for a living. I watch her move, her hands lodged in her hair as her body sways as if it has a mind of its’ own. She whirls around and drops to the floor before rising, her body right up against mine. The heat in this room is unbearable and we’re surrounded by classmates, but in that moment I am dangerously close to pulling her into me completely.

I step away from the mass of dancers, flopping onto the nearest couch. Maya pouts but allows it, as I sign to her to give me a minute. My breathing is wavering and heavy in the steaming room and I think I might have a stich from dancing. I glance around, searching for my friends’ whereabouts. I spot Zay in a corner across the room, currently entangled with a guy I vaguely recognise from school. I smirk, I guess Lucas was successful. I find Smackle and Farkle slightly away from the crowd of people. I watch as Smackle drunkenly spins around Farkle and stumbles into his arms, smiling up at him as he stares down at her with clear adoration.

My eyes find Maya again, a guilty habit of theirs, and find her dancing with Lucas. I feel myself frown slightly, despite dancing at a party being a completely friendly act. She laughs at something he says, head thrown back and eyes scrunched. I love her laugh, but I really do prefer it when it results from me. _I think I need another drink._

I get up and walk towards the kitchen, cringing as I step over a couple blatantly making-out in the doorway. I locate the nearest beer, twisting off the bottle cap and throwing in the trash. I take a sip, the cool liquid sliding easily down my throat. I stare out the open kitchen door, into the darkness outside. I’m just about to go back to the dance floor, when I’m approached by none other than Charlie Gardner. _I guess I was wrong. He really and truly cannot take a hint._ “Hey Riles...” He slurs his words as he stumbles towards me, leaning up against the high cupboards and brushing the hair out of his unfocused eyes. I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose, “Charlie, please leave me alone. It’s never going to happen.”

His eyes are glazed over, showing no sign that he actually heard me. He chuckles and takes a swig of the drink in his hand, spilling on himself in the process. “Come on Riley; you’re hot, I’m hot. I’m willingly to look past the whole ‘pan thing’, in fact...” he grins with a feral hunger, my stomach churns at the sight, “Why don’t we invite that Maya girl to join us?” I grimace and step back, but I bump into the drinks table behind me. He steps forward and I prepare to bring my foot into his crotch sharply when a familiar blonde walks in.

“I believe she said no Charlie. Several times.” She walks towards us, her eyes flashing with outrage. “I’d suggest you listen if you want to keep that pretty face of yours intact.” She steps in between us and shoves Charlie back. He stumbles before catching his balance on the low counter and leering at Maya, “Whatever blondie. I’m sure you’re just here because you want her for yourself. Go ahead,” he sneers, eyes darting between us, “You can have her. You two sluts deserve each other.”

Maya takes a menacing step towards Charlie, her hands curling into fists. _She’s ferocious for someone so small._ “Listen here Gardner. If I ever catch you trying anything with Riley, hell if you even look at her for too long, I will cut off your dick and feed it to you. Are we clear?” His jaw tightens as he looks down at Maya, but he senses the legitimacy of the threat and turns to walk away. Maya grabs my hand and pulls me along with her as she storms out the kitchen archway, into the cool night air beyond it.

She puts both her hands in mine as she turns to face me. “Are you okay? Did he touch you? I swear to god if he did anything I-“ I cut off her babble, “Maya, I’m fine. Nothing happened.” I squeeze her hands tightly within mine as I gaze at her worried face, “Thank you for defending me Peaches.” “Anytime Riles.” I smile, relishing the warmth I feel when she uses the nickname. I realise she’s the only one I want to call me that.

* * *

 

We don’t want to go back into the suffocating heat of the party inside, so we opt to stay outside instead. We lay side by side on the grass, eyes on the sky. Occasionally talking, mostly just lying in comfortable silence. I turn my head to look at her and take a note of the way her eyes reflect the sky. “Thank you again, for what you did back there,” I lift myself up onto my elbows, looking down at her, “Especially seeing as you probably ditched Lucas for this. You can go back to him if you want.” I look out into the distance before adding, “You two looked pretty cosy together. You totally have my permission by the way. Go for it. Enjoy.”

She bursts into laughter, the sound resonating throughout the open area as she brings her hands up to cover her face. She comes down from the laughing fit, raising her eyebrows at me as she struggles to control her chuckles. “Wait-you thought? Like- seriously?” She asks in between spurts of laughter. She takes a deep breath and wipes her eyes, having teared up from laughing so hard. “Riley I’m a lesbian.”

“What?” I feel my face flush as a grasp her sudden confession. “I’m super gay.” She dissolves into giggles again as I digest the new information. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I half-shout, feeling like an idiot. “I thought it was obvious.” She dissolves into a peal of laughter and I join her this time. I lay back onto the grass, my body shaking and my breathing coming out in short spurts. The situation is so surreal, laying on my back squawking like a maniac with Maya. Maya, my gorgeous friend, who just so happens to be into girls as well. _Well, tonight just got a bit more interesting._

We laugh to the point where we’re not even sure why we’re laughing, but can’t deny ourselves the ecstasy of it. I eventually calm myself down, casting my eyes towards as the occasional chuckle escapes from my system. Her skin shimmers in the moonlight, clear and bright. She seems to be glowing and I can’t possible stop myself from being pulled towards her.

I’m staring into her eyes, as starry as the sky above us. I feel our hands interlock between us as I role over onto my side, facing her completely. We’ve both stopped laughing. My eyes drift down involuntarily as her tongue runs over her bottom lip. I feel myself lean forward, the sound of my heartbeat drowning out the chatter and music blasting in the distance. Our faces are inches apart. I wait for her to close the distance. _Just a little further..._

“If it isn’t my favourite ladies!” We spring apart as a drunken Lucas stumbles over to us. I hope it’s dark enough to hide my flushed face as he collapses onto his back and eyes us with curiosity. “What’re you guys doing out here...” he slurs off, head lolling to the side as he shoots finger guns at us. “You should be inside with the party people!” He laughs and lays onto his back. Maya and I share looks; silently deciding that if this is the state Lucas is in, it’s about time to gather the troops and head out.

* * *

    

An hour later, all six of us end up at Farkles’ house. Maya spends a full five minutes unabashedly gawking at the place, which is expected. Farkles’ father is the CEO of ‘Minkus International’ and his family is loaded. Farkle makes a big point of not mentioning it, wanting to be known for who he is as a person and not for his money. It’s a penthouse apartment, spacious and well-furnished. We decide to all camp in the living room, though Farkle offers the guest bedroom to anyone who wants it.

We turn the futon into a bed and Farkle retrieves an inflatable mattress from the depths of the cleaning cupboard. Zay and Lucas take the futon, both of them falling asleep moments after lying down. Farkle and Smackle proceed to entangle themselves on the loveseat, leaving Maya and I with the blow-up mattress.

I change into an oversized shirt of Farkles, Maya taking off her skirt and leaving herself in the long flannel. We gather pillows and a comforter and lay them out on the mattress. I switch off the main lights, encasing the room in darkness. I climb underneath the covers and try not to think about the girl I almost kissed earlier. It’s a bit hard to do so when that very girl lies next to you, her body pressing right up against your back as she wraps her arms around you.

I allow myself to relax, melting into her arms as she tucks her face into the crook of my neck. I lift my head up, allowing her to nuzzle further into me. I turn over and shift down, laying my head on her chest and slinging my arm across her waist. “Riles?’ Her voice rings with urgency. “Yes?” I mumble into her chest. “What happened with you and Missy?”

I automatically stiffen up. I consider pretending to be asleep, before sighing and pushing myself up onto my elbows.  ”Well,” I swallow, looking anywhere else but her inquisitive gaze, “You know how I said Missy and I weren’t on the best of terms? I may have left something out.” I take a deep breath before revealing the entire story to her.

Missy had bullied me for months, single-handedly destroying any scrap of self-confidence I had. I was trapped; unable to fight back to words I had started to believe were true. I was humiliated and scared, too scared to tell anyone.

Eventually my friends found out and Lucas went ballistic. The just of it is that he threatened Missy. We then found ourselves in a predicament: We report Missy and she’d most likely find a way to get Lucas expelled. So, we left it. Missy stopped targeting me out of fear and we never spoke of it again. My friends spent months making me feel as loved as they possibly could and reconstructing my self-esteem. I’d like to think I’m better, I know I am. But, I’m not quite the girl I used to be and I’m not sure whether that’s good or bad.

“I’m so sorry honey.” She pulls me into her arms and holds me tight. We lie back down, enrapt in each other, neither of us saying a word. After a while I hear her breathing soften as she drifts into sleep. I lay still, moving only to brush my hands down her back or push my face into her neck. I feel no desire to move, so I don’t. In this moment, I know she is my safe-space and I would never doubt it for as long as I’d live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hello dears! I am posting this early because I love you guys and I may not be able to post on time next week...
> 
> Don't kill me...
> 
> Thoughts on Charlie?


	6. Chapter 6

Chemistry:

Noun (u) / ˈkɛmɪstri/

A connection the gives you an uncanny ability to sense when something is off with the one you share it with.

 

Something is wrong with Maya. She’s been acting strange lately; flaking out on plans without proper explanations and leaving abruptly. I swear I heard her crying in a bathroom stall the other day, but when she came out she showed no sign of it on her face. _What’s going on with her? Is she alright? Why isn’t she talking to me about it? Am I being clingy?_

I shake the unsettling thoughts out my head and return my attention to my literacy lesson. I glance at the object of my thoughts as she struggles not to dose off. I examine her pale face, strands escaping from her messy ponytail and hugging her cheekbones, making them look gaunt. Her eyes are droopy, purple bags starting to form under them. _I really hope this is just a cold._

A note is slid neatly onto my desk from my diagonal. I open it quietly and see that it is Lucas’s handwriting. _You really need to quit the constant googly eyes at Maya, it’s getting sorta sad._ I raise my eyebrows as I scribble a reply, telling him to kindly stay out of it. He’s acting strange as well, but it’s starting to become a given. I chuck it towards his desk swiftly and listen to the soft sound of pen on paper.

It’s back on my desk, and now reads: _I’m only trying to help, I don’t want you to get hurt._ I let out a quiet huff but decide to leave it there, folding up the note and sticking it in my pocket. Thoughts flood into my head as I chew over his point. _Could Maya hurt me?_ I look over at her. In this state, I don’t think she’d be able to harm a fly. _You know it’s going to hurt when she doesn’t feel the same way._

* * *

 

Lunch is unusually quiet today. The sound of chewing mixed with occasional attempts at conversation stain our usually relaxed atmosphere. I can barely take the silence anymore, and neither can Zay as he bursts, “What is up with you guys?”

Maya is snapped out of her straight-faced daze as Zay continues to look around the table wildly. “Why do we seem to collectively have something up our butts?” He stays silent for a moment, assuming somebody would reply, before practically gasping in disbelief. “Are you kidding me people! A perfectly good innuendo opportunity and you let it slip through your fingers?” He splutters, “Even you Smackle?”

We all expect her to say something witty in return, but all she does is offer a thin-lipped smile and looks down at her hands resting in her lap. _Oh no, Smackle too?_ Farkle rubs her shoulder, not quite believing her when she claims to be alright. I sigh, the gloomy atmosphere having affected my outlook on life as well. Maya’s hand finds mine under the table and our fingers interlace.

I squeeze her hand in mine, my mood slightly lightened by the contact. We still haven’t spoken about the almost-kiss and it’s slowly but surely driving me insane. I can’t handle not knowing how she feels about that night. On the other hand, I’m too afraid to ask her in case she doesn’t feel the same way. So I’m stuck trying to interpret the physical signs she sends me, which is easier said than done.

* * *

 

“Okay class,” our psychology teacher, Mr Young shuts his laptop and leans against his desk, “It’s that time of the semester when we’re doing pair work again.” _You have got to be kidding me._ “I know it sucks,” He continues, “But it’s just one of those things. But luckily for you, I’m letting you pick your partners.” He smiles fondly at the class as they shower him in various forms of gratitude. “Once you have a partner, come to me to be assigned a topic.”

 _Do they have to bring social interaction into everything?_ I shoot a pleading look at Zay, who smiles sadly and gestures his head towards the handsome male sliding into the seat next to him. After looking the boy up and down, I realise that this was the person Zay was with at the party. I send Zay a begrudging thumb up, not wanting to come between him and his lover-boy. I groan and lay my head on my desk. _How the hell am I going to find a partner._

At that very thought I feel a cautious tap on my shoulder. I sit up to see a short curly-haired brunette with kind blue eyes. She watches me shyly as she asks me if I have a partner. “I-um, no. Do you?” She shakes her head, “Do you mind pairing up with me for this one?” “Not at all.” I reply, sending her an appreciative smile. Her face breaks into a relieved smile as she offers her hand. “Sarah Carpenter,” She states. “Riley Mathews.” I reply.

 She goes up to the front to receive our topic and I survey her as she walks away. I do enjoy meeting new people. Just not when they turn out to be jerks. All points considered; she might be one of the good ones, which is why I’m annoyed when Zay is tugging me out of the classroom the second the bell rings. “Ow! Zay what the heck?” He removes his vice-like grip on my arm and I look behind me, ready to go find Sarah so that she doesn’t think I ditched her.

“Who was that girl you were with? What was her name? Do you think she’s cute? What about Maya?” Zay hurtles various questions at me, not even pausing for breath. “That was Sarah Carpenter. My partner for the project, who thinks I just rudely ditched her.” “Do you like her?” “Zay no.” I shake my head, shutting down the idea before it blooms, “I just met her, she seems nice. As a friend.”

So, you feel nothing for her then?” I widen my eyes at him, not understanding why he cares. “Yes.” He nods his head, satisfied, “Good.” With that he walks away, leaving me with the remains of our confusing conversation. I try to make sense of it as I walk to my next class. _Why is everyone being so strange?_

* * *

 

Todays’ lunch is much better than yesterdays, everyone having gotten over whatever was plaguing them. I’m elated to find laughter and comfort returning to the table and I submerge myself in it. At the back of my head I still deliberate over what could have bothered Maya and Smackle, but I decide to save those thoughts for later. Even Lucas seems to be in a good mood, laughing and joining in on the teenage stupidity. It’s been a while since the group has been completely at ease and I hope it lasts.

I see Sarah scanning the room and I wave at her. It seems I was who she was looking for as she immediately heads towards our table. Maya follows my gaze, her eyebrows furrowed as she looks between us. She bites her lip, before shaking her head as she pulls her face into a neutral expression. I pretend not to notice her actions as Sarah reaches the table. “Hi Riley, I couldn’t find you after class yesterday to tell you our topic.” “Yeah, sorry about that.” I glare at Zay across the table, who sheepishly smiles. “Well,” She continues, knotting her hand together, “Our topic is the psychological effects of parental sickness and death on the average teenager.”

I feel Maya stiffen up beside me as her breathing speeds up fractionally. “Do any of you know someone who’s parent died? We’re supposed to get examples.” Sarah looks around the group as everyone shakes their head. Suddenly Maya is on her feet, “I have to go.” She mumbles as she jogs from the cafeteria.

I’m standing before I even realise it. “Sorry Sarah, I have to go after her.” She nods awkwardly and says she’ll see me in class. I hurry into the halls and look left and right. No sign of Maya anywhere. _God that girl is fast. Where could she be?_ I run a hand through my hair and pace a couple of steps. I stop suddenly, remembering something she once said. I break into a run, hoping that I’m right.

* * *

 

 “Maya?” I call out to her quietly as I walk in. I’m sure she’s mentioned this place before and something tells me this is where she’d go. It’s one of the classrooms that hasn’t been renovated, and it’s used as a storage room for projects and art supplies. It’s a bit cramped with bits and bobs, and a thin layer of dust coats the floor and is illuminated in the air by the light creeping through gaps in the stained glass of the windows.

 I know she prefers it though, it’s quiet and there’s always plenty of spare materials lying around. The room is empty and I’m about to second guess myself and leave when I hear a muffled sob. I cross the room quickly, sidestepping murals and open cans of paint. I find the short blonde seated under a table, roughly wiping away tears with the back of her hand.

“Maya.” The concern is evident in my voice as I crouch to her eye level, but her gaze stays cast on the floor. I slowly reach my hand forward, not wanting to startle her, and lightly tilt her chin up to look at me. “What’s going on?” I keep my voice as soft and calm as I can and await a reply. “Riles.” Her voice comes out rough and guttural. She swallows hard and takes a deep breath. “She’s sick Riley.” Her voice breaks and I feel my heart shatter with it. “Who?” She shuts her eyes tight, crystalline tears dripping down her face. The silence hangs in the air until eventually she replies, her voice barely above a whisper, “My mom.”

I don’t know what to say. What is someone supposed to say to that? Instead I shift under the table and pull her into me. I hope this isn’t to bold of a move because she isn’t really the affectionate type, but she allows it as she presses her head into my shoulder. We sit in silence except for the occasional sniff or mumble of reassurance. It’s better this way, the situation is past words. We’re both missing lessons now but I don’t think either of us care. In this room time can’t touch us. We stay like this long after Maya stops crying, pulling comfort out of the shared embrace.

She pulls away suddenly and gets out from under the table. I get up and brush myself off as she washes her face in the sink in front of the windows. She dries her face with her shirt, exposing her midriff as I try not to stare. Now is not the time nor the place. “I’m really sorry about that.” Her voice snaps me back to attention and I take her in. She awkwardly leans against the sink, obviously unsure of what to do. “Don’t apologise, Peaches.” A ghost of smile appears on her face at the nickname, but it disappears as she frowns at the floor and attempts to explain herself.

“I-uh, I don’t do that, um I don’t cry often. I just- “She lets out a dry laugh, “I’m so _fucking_ frustrated.” She takes a deep breath and continues. “The doctors don’t know what it is, either that or they refuse to tell me. From what I can put together it’s a rare form of cancer. She was admitted into hospital a couple of days before school started, which is why I came in a week late.” The pieces fall together as I watch her roughly comb her hands through her hair. “I’ve been picking up her shifts at the diner to help with hospital fees, meaning I had to flake out on plans with you.” So that’s why she’s constantly exhausted. Her breathing starts to come out in short strips as she paces. “I’m so tired Riles, I don’t know what I’m doing! I’m just an immature rebel burnout. I _can’t_ \- I don’t know how- this isn’t what I’m made for. Why the _fuck_ would the universe do this to me, I-.”

I cut her off by swiftly grabbing her face in my hands, successfully stopping her pacing and cutting off her rambling. “Maya. I got you.” Her eye bore into mine, swimming in surprise at my actions and anxiety over her situation. I try to communicate through my own eyes, hoping she understands what I’m trying to express. _I’m not leaving you Maya, I’m right here. I got you._

I find myself stuck in this position, Maya’s chin cupped in my hands and her eyes on mine. I don’t know what it is about this girl, but I seem to completely lose my head around her. I’m still not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. The will power needed to stop me from succumbing to the pull between us is fatigue-inducing. I break manage to break eye-contact and I clear my throat, “Well-uh. We should probably find the time.” When she doesn’t answer, I turn to go but as I place my hand on the door-handle she speaks, “Wanna get out of here?”

It takes me a moment to understand what she means. It dawns on me as I turn around and with an incredulous look on my features; a look that she contrasts to with a grin and a familiar glint in her eyes. I’ve never cut class before, and I find myself caught in an internal battle. I know it’s wrong, but having wrong thoughts when she’s around is beginning to be expected. Besides, what’s some harmless fun, right? Especially after the heaviness of what Maya’s going through, she needs a break. The less controlled side of me triumphs as I cave, “What are we going to do?” Taking this as a yes, Maya crosses over to me and opens the door to let me past, “Whatever you want.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I am aware that I'm an awful human being, but to be fair... I did say every one OR TWO weeks... so you were warned... 
> 
> Happy readings to you all!


	7. Chapter 7

Chemistry:

Noun (u) / ˈkɛmɪstri/

The pull you don’t deny when your lips touch

 

“I think I’ve found a new favourite thinking spot.” Maya states as she clinks her beer bottle against mine. After managing to sneak past Ms. Hills we walked to a nearby 711, buying a case and a bag of chips. Maya insisted that I choose where we go, so we end up sitting on the fire escape outside my bedroom window. 

“I’m glad you like it.” I swing my legs as they hang over the edge, taking a sip of my drink. “It makes me itch for my sketchbook.” I hear the longing in her voice and I pass her bag to her. She pulls out the object and I busy myself by watching the people who pass below us. The sky is a startling blue and I lose myself in the point where the horizon meets the trees. Everything is bathed in sunlight. I feel invincible. “It’s a lovely view, isn’t it?”

“It sure is.” Maya replies and when I turn my head I find that she’s not looking outwards, but rather at me. I smile coyly as I shake my head, turning back towards the view. The sound of pencil against paper blends in with the traffic below and becomes an urban lullaby. I lie back, throwing an arm over my eyes and scooting back so only my feet are on the edge. I couple moments later I feel Maya join me.

“What about your drawing?” I turn my head and move back slightly, the distance between us being less than what I imagined. “I’ll finish it later.” She grins at me and her smile rivals the sun. Our current position brings back memories from the party and the words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them, “Are we ever going to talk about what happened that night?”

She turns to me, puzzled, before understanding dawns on her. “Riley-” I cut her off, sitting up “I get it. You don’t feel the same. I’m sorry I brought it up. But the least you could do is tell me, you know?” I chew on my bottom lip, looking off into the view, “Instead of pretending it didn’t happen and leaving me to try interpret your signals.”

She lets out a small laugh, a huff of confusion. “Riley, I’m sorry. I didn’t bring it up because I thought that’s what you wanted. Are you saying it wasn’t just the alcohol that night?” I don’t meet her gaze, she takes my hand in hers and continues, “Riles, I don’t know what you feel, but I know what I do.”

I turn my face towards her as she shifts towards me. “And what is that?” I question, her face inches from mine. She doesn’t answer. Instead she places her hand on the base of my neck and pulls my face towards hers.

We are not interrupted this time. My hands place themselves in Maya’s hair as her lips move against mine. Every single thought in my head fades. I forget about how we should both be in class right now. I forget that if my parents find out I’ll be skinned alive. I forget about the reason we’re here in the first place. I forget about all my doubts about Maya. It’s all flown out of my mind.

In its’ place remains the feeling of her lips, her taste. Her body under my hands, her scent filling up my nostrils. I inhale deeply, absorbing her like a drug. My heart pounds but I don’t dare break away, not wanting the moment to end. She smiles, our lips bumping together as she lets out a soft laugh. She looks at me for a moment, eyes sparkling with emotion before leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss onto my lips. “We’d better head back, huh?”

* * *

 

I’m still gleaming with the victory of getting away with something, even a week later. We had managed to get back just before end registration, so as far as the school knew, we were there the entire day. We may have given it away ourselves though; constantly giggling like children who stole biscuits from the cookie jar and didn’t get caught. Our friends were rightly confused, but we brushed away their concerns, being as vague as possible.

We decided not to tell everyone about what happened earlier that day. I wonder if Maya wanted this because she was embarrassed. _Don’t be an idiot Riley. If Maya was ashamed to be seen with you she wouldn’t have kissed you._ I blush in remembrance. _That kiss..._

It automatically begins to replay in my head. Her body pressed up against mine, hands in her hair. Her skin, her lips, her scent. _Her._ “Yo Riley?” Zay snaps his fingers in my face, pulling me back into real time. “Are you listening?” I blush furiously at being caught in the middle of my musings and stutter before Farkle cuts me off, “I’m inviting you guys to a Christmas party at my place.”

My eyes widen. In all the time that we have been friends, Farkle has never invited us to the annual Minkus Christmas party. I’ve heard it’s insane, drunk rich business men and plenty of powerful people looking for a good time. “Wow, and here I was thinking you were ashamed of us.” Lucas drawls out playfully. Farkle rolls his eyes towards the ceiling, “You know that’s not why I’ve never invited you guys.”

“Why haven’t you?” questions Smackle, turning her calculated gaze towards Farkle. “It’s just a whole bunch of rich snobs showing off their money. I honestly didn’t think you’d want to be there.” “So why the sudden change of heart?” Maya pipes up from her seat. “My father asked me to bring my friends this year.” He shrugs, taking a gulp of his drink, “He apparently has an announcement that he wants us all to be there for.”

* * *

 

It is snowing in Manhattan, a startling change from the recent heatwave. _We should really start taking better care of this climate change situation._ I watch the snow fall outside my window, lacking the desire to get out of bed. The sight is suddenly blocked from view by a petite blonde who waves at me enthusiastically. Her cheeks are flushed and her blonde locks are flowing from underneath a beanie, steadily being covered by snow. _She is so adorable._

She tugs the window open, a blast of cold air coming through as she climbs into my room. “Hey there honey.” She smiles fondly at the sight of me bundled in blankets. She observes me for a second and sees that I’m not planning on moving anytime soon. She removes her coat and trimmings and climbs in with me. I shift over in the bed as she wraps her arms around me, absorbing my warmth.

I bury my face into her neck and sigh deeply, knowing we can’t stay like this too long. Sooner or later we have to get up and meet Smackle at the mall. We’re all going dress shopping for the Christmas party, the theme this year being formal. _Is it too early to cancel?_ I lift my head up to look into Maya’s eyes. Her eye-line flickers to my lips as she shifts closer. I pull my head forward and attach my lips to hers, molding into her body.

We spring apart at the knock on the door. A second later the door swings open to reveal my mother. Her eyes glaze over the two of us lying in bed and she smiles warmly. “I made pancakes, if you guys are hungry.” “We’ll be out in a minute mom.” I reply, sending her my best inconspicuous grin. She sends me a puzzled look but shrugs it off, closing the door softly behind her. I let out a silent breath of relief. _That was close._

* * *

 

“Do people really find it necessary to spend hours searching for a dress they’re going to wear once?” Smackle asks doubtfully, sifting her hand through the waterfall of hanging formalwear. I chuckle, not really understanding it myself. “Well, I don’t know about you,” Maya replies, grabbing a nearby dress and examining the price-tag, “But for this price, I’m going to be wearing it for the next decade.”

I look at the dress in her hands: A red lacy number with mid-sleeves and a halter neckline. “You have to try that on.” I insist, already pushing her in the direction of the dressing rooms despite her protests. I can hear Smackles’ laughter as I push Maya into a stall. “Put it on. Now.” I demand, closing the curtain swiftly, leaving no room for refusal. She groans but the sound of clothes hitting the floor soon follows. I smirk, leaving to find Smackle and continue the quest for dresses.

I stumble into a stall, arms laden with various dresses. “Maya! How are you still in there?” Mumbles sound from her dressing room and I decide to take matters in my own hand. I march up to her dressing room and demand she comes out. She mumbles something about me being bossy, but proceeds to pull the curtain open and step outside the cubicle.

My throat dries up as I take in the figure-hugging dress. _I’m not going to make it to the end of my senior year._ Smackle peaks her head out of her cubicle and gives Maya a once-over, “You look, by all conventional beauty standards, gorgeous.” Maya gives her an awkward smile, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

 “You have to get that dress.” I manage to stumble out, my eyes shamefully revelling in the sight. She shakes her head, eyes cast to the floor, “There’s no way I could afford it.” “I’ll get it for you.” I reply without thought. Her eyes widen and she begins shaking her head again, tossing her blonde locks around, “I can’t let you do that.”

“I want to,” I state, settling my hands on her forearms, “Consider it a best friend thing.” “Even best friends have limits Riles.” I scrunch up my nose as I smile, “There are no limits to us.” She opens her mouth to protest, but I shoot her a look that makes her close it. She retreats back past the curtain, her mouth drawn into a thin line. I return to my own cubicle and begin filtering through my options.

I end up picking a floor-length dress with a white bodice and light pick mermaid skirt. After much pushing from Maya and I, Smackle goes with a black open-backed dress. We head to the counter and purchase our items, wincing slightly at the price. “Oh god, we are wearing these dresses to prom okay?” Smackle states as she grabs her bag, “I can’t do this again.”

* * *

 

“Alright,” I begin, addressing the group of people before me, “I’m sure you are all aware what time of the year it is.” Groans sound from around the table. Maya looks around, not knowing the reason for everyone’s annoyance. “I am happy to announce this year’s secret santa!”

“Is it too late to run?” Lucas whispers, peering past where I stand. “What’s going on?” Maya questions. “Every year Riley forces us to pick names out of a special box. You give a gift to the person you get.” Farkle answers, looking ready to bolt himself. “What’s so bad about that?” Maya asks.

“It goes horribly wrong every year.” Smackle replies, lying her head on the table. “It does not!” I frown at their lack of enthusiasm. “Really?” Zay deadpans, “Because I seem to remember Smackle tackling me to the ground quite clearly.” He rubs the back of his head at the memory. Smackle snaps her head up, palms slapping onto the table.  “You bought me a dildo and a ‘How to please your man, in ten easy steps’ pamphlet!”

“It was a joke!” He cries, hands automatically moving to shield her face as Maya bursts into laughter. I calm everyone down, pulling the infamous box out of my bag. “It is time.” I state, sitting the box on the table with an air of finality. Lucas attempts to make a run for it, but I grab him by the collar and shove him back into his seat.

The box is passed around the table solemnly, each person receiving the box as if it contains a deadly plague. I role my eyes at the dramatics, taking the box myself and pulling out a slim piece of paper. I unfold it, reading the printed name. _Isadora Smackle._ I keep my face completely neutral, giving nothing away as I pass the box to Maya. _Let the games begin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * hides behind chair *  
> Okay so I know I'm a day lateeee... but it's cool riight??  
> I made them make-out tho, so I think that makes up for it  
> Enjoy!  
> Q: coffee or energy-drinks?


	8. Chapter 8

 

Chemistry:

Noun (u) / ˈkɛmɪstri/

As previously stated, it is not something that can be forced.

 

_I love Christmas._ The frosty air and billowing snow, being wrapped up in blankets and sleeping until noon. Or maybe I just like Christmas break; it’s hard to tell. I roll over and grab my phone off of my nightstand, checking the time. A notification pops up on the screen, reminding me I need to get ready for tonight. It’s Christmas Eve, which also happens to be the night of the Minkus’ Christmas party. _Time to don some evening wear._

I find it strangely enjoyable primping myself for the party; taking extra care to moisturise and pluck, probably looking a lot like the cliché beauty-queen. The truth is it just felt amazing to take care of myself, to feel like I was doing this out of my own accord. I’m doing this for me. _And maybe because a part of me wants Maya to be stunned._ I shake away the wishful thoughts, sliding the last pin into my hair.

I slip into the dress, the feeling of the material against clean skin mesmerising. I take a look at myself in the mirror and I smile. It’s a weird moment. I realise how far I’ve come to reach this point. Perfectly wrapped up in tulle, I could almost let myself believe I’m a princess. _Five-year-old me is finally getting her wish fulfilled. Good on her._

A buzz came from the intercom, followed by Zay’s voice telling me to ‘haul my gorgeous ass downstairs.’ I give my mom a quick kiss on the cheek and send a dorky salute my dad’s way before grabbing my coat and heading out the door. Outside the building, I find myself in front of a black limousine, a sombre looking man stepping out to open the door for me. Sometimes I forget just how rich Farkles’ family is.

I smile at the chauffer and slide into the leathered interior. The seats are set in a semi-circle and it takes my eyes a moment to adjust to the dark lighting inside. On my immediate right is Zay followed by Lucas, both of them looking dapper in fitted tuxes. Lucas even has a trimmed rose in his breast-pocket. _Someone’s trying to get laid tonight._

Smackle is seated next her Lucas, looking every bit as beautiful as I knew she would in her dress. Her hair is left down and I marvel at how thick and sleek it is. _I need to ask her what shampoo she used._ My eyes shift over to the girl seated opposite me and I feel my cheeks redden. I already knew what her dress looked like, having made her try it on, but I still wasn’t ready to see the full look.

Her eyelids are a shimmering silver, making them stand out in contrast to the red of her dress. Her hair is tied up in an almost ponytail, slightly messy and amazingly long and layered. Pieces of hair frame her perfectly made up face. I see her face flush as her ruby-red lips part slightly, eyes roaming shamelessly along my body. I blush further and look away, hiding my satisfaction.

“You guys look amazing.” I state, grinning at my group. I receive bright grins back, the entire back of the vehicle alive with raw excitement. “I hope you guys didn’t forget your Secret Santa gifts.” I say, watching as several eyes were rolled. “And risk your wrath?” smirked Lucas. “I thought it would be fun if this year, instead of setting a place and time, we just gave the gifts to each other throughout the night.” Murmurs of acceptance followed the idea. “Eye’ eye’ captain.” Maya grins as she gives me a sailors’ solute.

The limousine stops moving and we find ourselves at the venue the party is held at this year. It’s a gigantic mansion set just off the country roads. It’s most used for fancy charity balls and weddings. I feel like it’s costing me money just to sit here, so I toss open the door before the chauffer has a chance to. I settle myself onto the paved path, waiting for everyone to get out after me. We head up the marble stairs and towards the open Oakwood doors, spilling light outside.

I’m only a couple steps into the foyer when Farkle practically tackles me. “Thank god you guys are here. My father’s been ruthless this year, introducing me to every colleague he’s ever made eye-contact with. You’re lucky I even found you guys.” He eyes widen as he sees Smackle, who shyly smirks at him. “Am I an acceptable date?” She asks. He marches up to her and kisses her hard. “Ballalala.” He states, tenderly referencing a word he used to describe his feelings for her when we were younger.

“You’re welcome.” Maya taps Farkle on the shoulder and wiggles her eyebrows at Smackle as she walks past. “Ready to get smashed and laid?” Lucas holds up his hand for Zay to high-five, but Zay shakes his head. “Not tonight bud.” Lucas mumbles something about Zay getting himself tied down, and I remember the guy Zay has been doting on recently. Things were more serious between them than we had thought.

We enter a large high-ceilinged room that largely resembled a ballroom out of a fairy-tale, except with significantly less royal dancing and courting. Various official-looking people stood in its place, sipping from champagne glasses and talking business to the soundtrack of classical music. Soon after entering the room, Farkle is whisked away by the famous Mr and Mrs Minkus: Stuart and Jennifer.

The five of us are left to fend for ourselves, and I’m almost certain that it shows how little of a clue we have to do so. A waiter comes past and offers us glasses which we happily accept. After scanning the room, I realise that there were actually quite a few people our age. We end up making conversation with a couple, all of them heirs to companies or children of business-men and women. It’s pleasant, but a bit too formal for my tastes.

* * *

 

When Farkle cannot take anymore parading, he rushes us all out of the room and into the nearby gardens. It’s breath-taking; A gigantic cobbled courtyard complete with a fountain, leading out into paths of trees and bushes. We and a couple of newly acquainted individuals sit on the steps in front of the courtyards and observe. We managed to snag a couple of bottles of assorted drinks on the way out, and are now passing the bottles between us.

I decide this is as good a time as any to give Smackle her gift and get it out of my coat. I hand her the box excitedly and she examines it slightly gingerly. It’s fair enough, looking at the past gifts she’s been given. She takes of the bow and opens the lid of the box, revealing the silver locket inside. “Um thank you for the jewellery Riley.” I hear the confusion in her voice. “Open it.” I coax.

The locket contains a picture of the six of us, one that I managed to take earlier this year. It was a day we were all outside the school, having been let out early because of water cuts in the building. None of us were able to get home at the time, and we were all fooling around. I had managed to get a picture with all of us in it, half of them not even knowing I was taking one. It was definitely a lucky shot, and I was pretty chuffed with myself.

“It’s so that when you’re in Princeton, or Brown, or Yale... you can look at that and remember that we’ll always be here when you get back.” Her eyes fill with tears. She lifts her hands to her cheeks, as if surprised with herself. “I believe now would be a justifiable time to hug you?” She smiles tearfully. I laugh and pull her into a tight hug as our friends coo and join in.

Lucas coughs and calls my name. I pull away from Smackle and send him a questioning glance. “Can we-uh talk? I mean, I’m your Secret Santa. Can I give you your gift now?” He holds a small box in his hands, neatly wrapped in purple wrapping-paper. “Um, sure.” I get up and follow him inside, not missing the way Maya watches us leave.  

We walk down the hallway and into an empty room. I cross my arms over my chest, smiling awkwardly at him. Lucas scratches the back of his neck, eyes darting all over the room before landing on me. He mirrors my awkward smile on his face, handing me the box. I tear off the wrapping paper and pull the lid off. “Lucas?” I question.

A figurine of a unicorn is nestled into the bubble-wrap. A lopsided cowboy hat hangs on the one ear. “The head twists off.” He says. I continue to stare at the object. “Open it.” He prompts. I do as he says, tipping the unicorn sideways, a folded note sliding into my hand.” I unfold the note, watching as the bold words come into focus. **You’re still my princess, am I your prince-charming?** Underneath it he has written himself: **Prom?**

I blink at the note, as if closing my eyes will make it change its’ contents. “Riles?” I flicker my eyes up to him, anxiousness inscribed on his face. I don’t say anything for a moment, my mind still trying to find the right words. “Lucas-“ He cuts me off quickly, his voice determined and desperate.

“I know we aren’t together anymore, and I know I told you that I was okay with being friends. I lied. I still have feelings for you Riley.” He wrings his hands, beginning to pace. “You were my first love – _are_ my first love. I know there’s still something between us. Don’t you feel it? I have to know.” Suddenly, my face is in his hands and his lips are on mine.

The feeling is so familiar, almost comforting, that it takes me a moment before I come to my senses. I push him off me. He stares at the space next to me, seeming just as surprised by the kiss as I was. I hate myself for doing this to him, but I can’t give him what he wants. At that moment, I hear fumbling at the door. I turn to see a blur of red and gold moving away from the door.

_Maya._ “I’m not the one Lucas. I’m sorry.” I send Lucas an apologetic look as I race out of the room. I catch Maya at the end of the hall, the one leading to the foyer. She pulls her arm out of my grip, eyes filled with outrage. “Maya wait. It wasn’t what it looked like.” She shakes her head, “I saw enough to know what it was.”

I open my mouth to explain just as Jennifer Minkus rounds the corner. “Oh! There you two are. Stuart is about to make an announcement, but he wants all of Farkles’ friends to be there. Have you seen Lucas by any chance?”

* * *

 

By some miracle, we manage to get to the banquet hall in one piece. Maya is standing next to Smackle, refusing to meet my eye. Lucas is standing next to Zay, doing the same thing for different reasons. I know that the middle men both know something is up, but nobody has said anything yet.

Stuart Minkus stands in the middle of the room. “As many of you know,” He begins, “I’m getting old.” Chuckles sound all around the room. “There are certain things that come with old age. One of them is watching your kids grow into almost-adults. On that note: Farkle can you please join me?”

 Farkle stands by his father’s side with mild confusion. “Farkle you are a perfectly capable young man and I know you’re going to do great things one day. Consider this your Christmas gift.” He beams and lifts his champagne glass. “I’m going to have to retire soon. I’ve appointed Farkle to take over the company!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: ello! This is lowkey a gigantic pile of trash but it's okay!
> 
> I will do my very best to post on time next week, but it's my exams guys...
> 
> Until then, Au Revoir


	9. Chapter 9

Chemistry:

Noun (u) / ˈkɛmɪstri/

A bond too strong to be kept away from

 

Needless to say, we all left the party pretty quickly after that. Maya was pissed at me and probably Lucas. Lucas was mortified. Smackle was upset that she and Farkle wouldn’t be going to the same university, as they planned. And I just wanted to get away from all of it. I felt bad for Zay, who had barely a clue what was going on, and sprinted to catch a cab with Lucas.

At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if none of them show up tonight. But then again, no one’s ever missed a Matthews’ New Year’s Eve party before. At that exact thought, my phone buzzes with a new message. It’s from Maya. _Finally._ I’d left her too many voicemails and messages to count, and here she is. A single message, stating simply: _I’ll see you tonight._ I’m a little pissed off at her for ignoring me and when she finally answers, answering as enigmatically as possible. I don’t reply, instead I just take a deep breath of relief.

* * *

 

I’ve just finished putting the last decoration up when my father calls from the living room. I hurry in as he puts on his coat. “Riley, the first guests just buzzed, they’ll be here any second.” “Good, good. Speaking of being somewhere...” I push him towards the door, knowing he won’t leave without a little shove. “Hey! I know it’s your senior year and all that, but surely your old man can say Hi!”

“Cory...” my mother’s voice wafts from down the hall as she waits for her husband. “We talked about this.” I continue to push him towards the door as he babbles. “Okay, okay! Just remember to be responsible! Don’t drink and drive! No boys in your room. If you need anything call us. Auggie is just down the hall with Mrs Morgenstern so­ – ” I shut the door behind him and slide to the floor.

A few seconds later I’m spurred into motion by slightly panicked knocking. I open the door to reveal a tense Zay, fingers interlocked with a recognisable boy. Immediately behind the pair are a grinning Smackle and Farkle, seeming extremely amused by something. Zay rushes inside without greeting, while his companion smiles and offers his hand. “Hi, I’m Xavier. I’m Zay’s - ”

“Boyfriend. He’s my boyfriend. No, that does not mean you may tell him embarrassing stories or show him my baby pictures!” Zay blurts, tugging off his scarf and coat. Xavier grins kindly, “He’s a little on edge.” “Long drive?” I look pointedly at the other couple in the room. They smile guiltily back at me. “We saw an opportunity and we took it.” Farkle shrugs.

* * *

The party is bigger than normal this year. I invited the entire graduating class, minus a few who would only cause trouble. It’s very festive, good music and food and tastefully drunk teens. But as funny as watching Smackle tell Xavier about Zay’s ‘butt, or lack thereof’; it’s a bit hard to enjoy when two of your favourite people are nowhere to be found.

I head to my room, deciding to call him. _Enough is enough._ The room is dark when I walk in, but not too dark that I miss the entangled couple at my bay window. “Zay!” I reprimand, turning on the light. “You’re tainting the bay window.” “Sorry Riley.” Xavier blushes, sheepishly sliding past me and out of the room. I catch Zay by the arm as he tries to follow.

“Have you heard from Lucas?” He shakes his head. “Riles you don’t need to worry. He’ll come around. He always does.” Zay rubs his hand up my forearms, giving me his lesser-seen soft-hearted smile. “He usually does. What if this time it’s different?” I sigh, “What if he doesn’t? Then what are we supposed to do?” Zay’s eyes are fixed on a point behind me. “Why don’t you ask him that yourself?”

I turn around to see the topic of our discussion climbing in through the bay window. _I wonder, when was the last time my friends used the door?_ “I’m sorry for the dramatic entrance,” he begins, sitting himself down, “I just didn’t want you to bring our shit out in front of all the guests.” I sit down next to him as he sends me an attempt at a light smile. “I’m sorry Lucas.”

“Don’t apologise. You’ve done nothing wrong.” He squeezes my hand lightly. “I’m sorry if it felt like I lead you on. I swear, when we were together my feelings for you were all real.” “Good to know.” He fixes his eyes on the carpet as we hit a patch of silence. “So, you and Maya huh?” I snap my head up to look at him. “How do you know about that?”

“She told me. Also, it’s incredibly obvious.” I stand up, “You’ve talked to Maya?” Confused by my abruptness, he clears his throat, “Um, yes. She’s probably what convinced me to show up tonight.” I shake my head, not quite believing it. _She goes and talks to him but completely ignores me?_ He cuts short my pacing to stand in front of me. “Are you okay, Riley?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine – um, can you excuse me for a moment?” He furrows his eyebrows in concern but nods, “Okay, just don’t do anything stupid.” I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him tight. “I’m glad we’re alright.” I pull away to hold him at arm’s length. “Well, I wouldn’t say that so quickly...” He teases, but his smile gives it away.

Without another word, I walk out of the room and back into the organized chaos of the party. I skirt around groups, making casual conversation as I head towards a fixed space: the door. When I reach it I quickly slip out into the hallway. I soon find my feet taking me towards the place I gravitate to every New Year’s Eve.

* * *

 

The roof of my apartment building is a special place, especially this time of year. I breathe in the brisk air, watching my cloud of exhalation disappear into the night. I take comfort in the city lights, so many different shades of warmth. The streets are packed tonight and I can vaguely hear upbeat music. By all accounts it’s a perfect place. [ _Not so perfect when you don’t have someone to share it with.]_ “Great view, huh?” 

I whirl my head around to find a well-known blonde coming to stand next to me. _Maya._ “You’re here.” I state the obvious, taking in her features like it’s been a year as opposed to five days. “Well, I did say I would be.” I huff slightly, turning away from her to face the view. I can’t help it; I’m pissed at her for leaving before I could explain, and I’m pissed at her for ignoring me, and I’m pissed at her for talking to _fucking Lucas before me._

“Riles. Honey, look at me.” She puts her hand on my chin and turns my face towards her. “I talked to Lucas.” “So he said.” She frowns, not understanding my tone. A smirk then spreads across her face, “Riley, are you jealous?” I scoff. “Of course not. You’re not even into guys.” I look away and add an afterthought, “Right?”

This time it’s Maya’s turn to scoff. “Oh yes, I’m definitely planning on riding of into the sunset with Bucky-mick-boing-boing. His southern ways were just too much for me.” She mock-swoons as I cross my arms. “Not funny.” Her face softens as she takes both my hands in hers. “Come on. Can’t you see how much I care about you? How much I want to make you smile? How much I want to hear your laugh, paint you when it’s 5:30 and you turn gold?”

“Perhaps I’ve been short-sighted by your blatant ignoring of me.” My lips quip into a small smile, not being able to resist her charms completely. “I’m sorry. I just saw you and Lucas and I didn’t know what to do because, Riles you’re one of the best people to walk into my life. I wouldn’t be able to handle you being with Lucas, and I wouldn’t be able to handle losing you either.”

We share a long, meaningful look. I allow myself to fully feel the connection between us, the tug in my stomach and the tightening pull. “So, what I’m hearing is,” I smirk down at her, “I’m your favourite?” She laughs and nods her head, “You’ll always be my favourite no matter what you are.”

I blush at her tooth-achingly sweet words, unclasping our hands so that I can bring them to cup her face. “Ready to go back to the celebration?” She shakes her head, her hands moving to grasp my collar. She pulls me into her and finds my lips in one swift motion.

I can practically hear the burst of fireworks, and when I pull away I discover it’s because they’ve started setting them off. “It seems we’ve missed the count down.” I smile. “Does that bother you?” She brings her lips down to my neck and hums. I struggle to stutter out a “N-not at all.”

 Her hot breath is against my skin and I can’t wait to kiss that smirk off of her face. I bite my lip, intentionally riling her up, before leaning just close enough for her to close the gap. “Happy New Year.” I mummer against her lips before my mouth becomes to occupied to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know I'm shitty  
> But I'm posting a day early so that makes up for it right...???  
> Kisses x


	10. Chapter 10

Chemistry:

Noun (u) / ˈkɛmɪstri/

It makes you feel as if you are strong enough to do anything.

 

“Please...” Maya draws out her syllables as she flutters her eyelashes up at me. “No Peaches. We cannot bunk Chemistry to make out.” She pouts and tugs on my hand, “But it’s a free lesson today.” I peck her on the cheek. “Yes, but everyone’s going to be asking her questions about the finals. You know this is when the teachers give the best tips.” She rolls her eyes but relents. “Fine, but you owe me one.”

We stumble into class slightly giddy, surprised to find everyone already seated. Zay waggles his eyes at me and Lucas snorts at our late arrival. We take our seats as quickly as possible under the class’s scrutiny. Ms. Hennily eyes us but doesn’t say anything.

I was right, the class does ask her questions, and she does give us some good tips. But about half way through the lesson, I feel my eyelids begin to droop. I look next to me and see Maya’s curls spread across the desk. It looks like she can’t stay awake either. There were openings for jobs at a diner near Maya’s apartment. We’ve both been taking shifts there; Maya to help pay bills, and me to help Maya.

I’m just about to let my head hit the desk when Ms. Hennily comes to tap on my desk. “Riley, can I see you after class today?” I nod my head quickly, “Of course mam.” She smiles and walks back to her desk, leaving me to quietly panic at mine. _Oh shit. What did I do? I’m not failing, right? This is not happening._

I tell Maya and the gang that I’ll meet them at the cafeteria. I approach my teachers desk cautiously, all the while telling my legs to stop shaking. “You wanted to speak to me miss?” She smiled and clasped her hands on the desk, “Yes miss Matthews, I did. I just wanted to talk to you about some of your recent marks.” A wave of disappointment and dread runs through me.

“Now, you’re a bright girl Riley, and I love having you in this class. It’s just that lately your test scores have been dropping.” I fix my gaze at the floor, fiddling with the straps of my bag. “You’ve just been a bit... off. Less attentive, a little slower with answers. Is there anything going on at home?” “What, no.” I shake my head quickly and Ms. Hennily raises her eyebrows. “Well, whatever it is, please try to shake yourself out of it. You really are one of my best students.”

* * *

I leave the room, my face burning with embarrassment. When I reach our table, I notice the absence of a member. “Where’s Smackle?” I question as I sit down. “I’m not too sure, she ran out of the classroom when the bell rang.” Farkle states with a frown, seemingly worried about his girlfriend, “She didn’t even say where she was going. Just that she’d see us in gym.” Gym was the other class we all had together, one that happened to be after break.

My thoughts are broken off by large and raucous laughter coming from the other side of the room. I tune into the offending group to find Missy and her minions. _Typical._ I glare at them so intently that I don’t even notice the arrival of a new person. “Hey Riley and co.” I snap my head up to see the sweet features of Sarah Carpenter. Today they seem to be placed in a worried frown.

Maya’s hand tightens around my waist and I turn to give her a disapproving glance. “Um, so I had gym before this, and I was taking my time in the bathrooms afterwards. Well, your friend came in,” She pushes up the glasses on her face and wrings her wrists, “The one with the glasses? Isadora, I think it is. Well-uh, she seemed pretty upset. I wasn’t sure if you knew.” The bell followed her reveal, and we all thanked Sarah and hurried towards the gymnasium.

Smackle darts out of the changeroom before we can talk to her, having already gotten changed. Maya and I throw our clothes on, refusing to let her keep quiet. When we exit the changerooms, we find that we were beaten to it by our male companions. A shaking Smackle is currently immersed in Farkle’s arms, while he speaks to Zay and Lucas. We run over to behind the bleachers where they are situated, hoping for someone to fill us in.

Farkle swallows, his jaw tightly clenched as he relays the news. “Smackle’s being bullied.” I shake my head, refusing to believe it. “By who.” My voice is shaky with anger, and I know the answer before Lucas even says it. “Fucking Missy Bradford.” I feel myself flush with anger, my hands curling up into balls causing my nails to pierce my palms. I’m too overwhelmed by the layers of rage washing over me to feel the pain.

“That bitch.” The words are quiet, but come out sharp enough to cut Missy themselves. The next few seconds are a blur of scarlet. I can vaguely see the seen opening out before me, but it’s as if I’m underwater. Farkle’s arms encase Smackle in them as he whispers words for only them to hear. Zay is explaining the situation softly to Maya, who grows more heated by the minute. I don’t think Lucas could get more heated if he tried, pacing up and down and keeping a quickly crumbling restraint on himself. Their faces are blurry and words warped, my mind in too much of a frenzy to process anything.

_How dare she. Was fucking me up not enough!_ My mind is whirlpool and I feel myself physically shaking as I resist bringing my fist into the wall behind me. _She’s never going to stop. How many more people is she going to ruin if someone doesn’t put an end to it. She’s going to regret this if I get my hands on her. I’m going to fucking kill her._

Suddenly I’m up on my feet. I see her on the opposite side of the room, laughing with her group as if she isn’t terrorising yet another innocent person. I storm towards her with more conviction then I knew I contained. I reach her and it takes everything in me not to bring my fist straight into her perfectly made-up face. “What the _hell_ is wrong with you.” I burst out, shaking with fury. She is surprised that I confronted her, but as she takes in my current demeanour she tries to hide it.

“Excuse me?” She feigns innocence, either that or she actually had no idea that her attempting to tear down Smackle would lead to consequences. I’m not sure which one is worse. “You heard me Missy. Answer me this, What the _fuck_ is wrong with you! Do you get some sadistic form of pleasure in destroying people?”

My hands are flying out around me as I continue. “Or are you just so insecure that you have to resort to making people feel like nothing to make yourself something. So, which one is it, huh?” She doesn’t reply and I speak again, catching the attention of groups around us. “Answer me Missy!” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I see the fear glinting in her eyes, and I don’t have time to ponder on the feeling of relish that sparks in me.

“Cut the shit.” I step towards her now, causing her to start stepping back. I notice Maya, Lucas and Zay walking towards the confrontation. “Look, I’m going to make this quick because I honestly have better things to be doing. Believe me I take no pleasure in talking to narcistic, toxic, ableist bitches.” I continue to step towards her, her back seconds away from finding the wall. My friends are close now and everyone’s eyes are on us, but it doesn’t seem as if anyone is about to step in.

“You listen here and you listen good Missy Bradford. I don’t give a shit about what happened in the past. And as I’m sure you’ve seen by now, I’m not scared of you. On the contrary,” I let out a dry laugh, “I pity you. You must feel absolutely awful about yourself to resort to hating on others.” I look her up and down, realising that the words coming out of my mouth are not bluffs. “Isadora Smackle is beautiful, intelligent and contains more integrity than you will ever possess. She’s different, and that is in no way a weakness. What’s even better though, is that she has a group of friends that will have her back no matter what. Which brings me to now.”

I close the distance between us to make sure she realises I’m not messing around. I grab her shirt by the collar, pressing her up into the wall as I revel in the satisfaction of our height difference. “If you ever _go near_ Smackle again or attempt to hurt her.” I pause and look her dead in the eyes. “I will not hesitate to _break_ your fucking jaw.” I push her away from me and into the wall.

I turn and walk away from her and towards where I left my friends. I’m still filled with adrenalin until I hear the voice of Mr. O’Neill boom behind me, “Miss Matthews! To the principal’s office now!”  My post-confrontation high fades as I swivel around to face my furious gym teacher. Dread sets into me as he escorts me to my father’s office. I don’t regret it, but _oh god._ _What if I get expelled!_ _Getting expelled by your own father, now that would be a story for the record books._

* * *

 

We reach his office and Mr. O’Neill asks to be let in. The seconds go by slowly and stiffly before the buzzer to enter goes off. My father’s face scrunches with confusion as he takes in my ruffled appearance. “What seems to be the problem Mr. O’Neill?” His voice is calm and neutral, but I can see the corks in his head spinning as he tries to figure out what I could have done.

“I walk in to find this one roughing it up with another student.” My father’s face fills with shock, but he replaces it quickly with a look of stern authority, “I’ll handle this, you best be back to your class.” Mr O’Neill nods and exits. “Well, take a seat.” He addresses me at last and I do as he says. Several seconds of silence follow as he sits and observes me. I shift uncomfortably and wonder what’s running through his mind. It feels like I’m about ready to graduate by the time he clears his throat, “So, Riley. Care to explain what sent you here?”

“I was confronting someone,” I swallow as the scene begins to replay itself in my head. “Apparently, it got slightly out of hand.” He raises a single eyebrow at me as he questions, “Students name?” “Missy Bradford.” His eyes glint with recognition; I never told him what happened between Missy and I but he might have heard inklings from the grapevine.

“Was there a particular reason for this said ‘confrontation’. “She was tormenting Smackle dad!” I shout out before I can stop myself. I take a deep breath to steady myself before continuing, “I was protecting her. Smackle did nothing wrong and Missy was hurting her.” I realise how hard I’m gripping the chair and loosen my hold, “You wouldn’t let anyone do that to someone you care about, and I’m not about to either.”

“Riley,” He says my name softly after my outburst, trying to calm me, “Your heart is in the right place, but there are other ways to handle this that don’t include you getting into a fight with a classmate.” He sighs, opening a drawer to pull out infamous pink pages. “I’m going to have to give you a detention Riley,” He scribbles down onto a slip before tearing it off and handing it to me. “Tomorrow, after school. Be prompt.” I stare at the little piece of paper in front of me, pink as my anger-flushed cheeks. “You may leave.”

 He tries his best to be in principal mode: a stern but fair, but my father shows through under it. He sends a sneaky smile at me as I get up to leave and his eyes gleam with unconcealed pride. As I open the door and slip out I hear him whisper, “Atta girl.”

* * *

 

I head back to the gymnasium to collect my things, only to find that the period was almost finished. Everybody was heading to their next venue, something I was highly glad about. I walk into the changeroom, only to be almost tackled by a whoosh of dark hair. I stumble backwards a step, before wrapping my arms around Smackle. “Thank you.” She whispers into my ear. “Anything for a friend.” I reply, squeezing her hard.

She quickly exits after that, flustered by all the human contact. I move to grab my things, before realising I’m not the only one in this room. “That was pretty amazing what you did back there.” I turn to face the beaming blonde, my hands finding her hips as hers link behind my neck. “Pretty heroic...” She continues, standing on her tip toes to press a kiss to my lips, “Pretty hot...”

“Maya.” My hands grip her waist as she continues to press kisses across my jaw. “Peaches we cannot bunk the next lesson to make out.” She juts out her bottom lip, and continues to pull me into her. “Maya I’m serious.” “Please...” I laugh, tugging on her hand and pulling her out the door with me. “Okay, you definitely owe me one now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on time this week! Who'd've thought right.  
> Q: any queers? (who am I kidding we're all queer here.)  
> I have decided on the ship name Zayvier (How Great!?)


	11. Chapter 11

Chemistry:

Noun (u) / ˈkɛmɪstri/

A connection that is sometimes too complex for its own good.

 

“All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t have been so mean to that customer.” I state as I pull myself through the bay window. “And all I’m saying, is that she was being a complete bitch.” I frown at Maya disapprovingly as she clambers in after me, “We’re in customer service, everyone’s a bitch.” She huffs, “Are you seriously taking her side?”

My eyebrows furrow in confusion, “No. I just don’t think your reaction was necessary.” She scoffs, “How would you know? You weren’t even there at the start of our shift.” “I had a tutoring session! You know how well I have to do in the economics exam if I want to get into Brown.” She crosses her arms and lets the air out through her cheeks, “Just do whatever makes it easiest to leave.”

My face softens as I take a hold of her shoulders and sit her down by the window. “Do you want to talk about what this is really about?” The beginnings of a sad smile form on her lips. “It’s just, my mom’s having the tumour removed soon. What if something happens?” I put my hand in hers. “Peaches, those doctors know what they’re doing. Nothing will go wrong.”

“It’s not just that.” She stares at our interlocked fingers before continuing, “It feels like everything has an expiration date. You’re going to ace your exam and get into Brown; the geniuses are going to Harvard. Zay and Lucas will undoubtedly get scholarships to NYU. Probably Xavier as well. Then what? We go to prom, we graduate, and then we leave. Everybody leaves.”

“Maya, the only thing we’re leaving is high school. Maybe we won’t see each other every day but that’s not going to change anything. We’re in this for the long game.” I lift her chin and let her eyes fix onto mine, “In any new place, or old place, or any place at all: We stay together, always. But we knew that a long time ago.”

I press a kiss to her forehead before enquiring, “Hey, I thought you were going to apply to NYU for an art scholarship?” She bites her lip sheepishly, “I never sent in the application.” “Peaches!” She shrugs and opens the window, ready to escape a scolding. “You’re applying for second semester, you understand me?” She chuckles and relents before pecking me on the cheek and leaving.

* * *

 

It’s almost finals week and all of us are so stressed we can barely see straight. We’re all currently sitting at **Topanga’s** at our usual table, but nowhere close to our usual energy levels. Smackle looks like she is on the verge of tears and Farkle keeps stopping what he’s doing to quietly thump his head against the table. Meanwhile, Zay is fast asleep and his boyfriend has been trying to wake him up for the past thirty minutes. Lucas has spent that entire time avoiding his Spanish notes by balancing different objects on Zay’s sleeping form.

I’m trying to learn organic compounds with a zoned-out Maya curled into me. _It’s not going very well._ My mother sighs as she brings us all another round of drinks. “You kids can’t keep doing this to yourselves.” Lucas puts down the fork straw he was attempting to balance behind Zay’s ears, “Actually Mrs M, the school system seems to think we can.”

My mother halts for a moment and observes the scene before her. “Well, I’m in charge here. You guys need a break.” She reaches to pull the text book out of Farkle’s hands, but he hisses and flinches away. He presses the textbook close to his chest and mumbles syllables that seem to be along the line of, “My precious...” “Nope, that’s it. Put your stuff away.” We all peer at my mother sceptically. “Now!” The look on her face leaves no room for discussion and we all scramble to follow the orders.

An hour later, we all lay on our backs in the centre of my living room. A portrait of the night sky has been projected on the ceiling and soft music playing in the background. My mother is leading us through a meditation. It’s in these moments that I remember how much of a hippy she used to be. I’m glad it’s a Friday night, because the relaxation exercise is working well. I feel my eyelids drift closed. _A little too well._  

* * *

 

Maya and I have been arguing a lot lately. I know she’s under a lot of stress but she seems to get agitated over nothing. I just hope it passes soon. “Psst. Riley.” She whispers from my bed where she lies. “Yes?” I look up from my computer screen. I am currently attempting to craft a perfect scientific essay for my last Chemistry mark. It’s not really happening.

She wiggles her eyebrows at me and I say nothing in return. After what happened earlier today, I’m not in the mood for talking, or even making out. I got back a project that was worth a fourth of my Chemistry mark, and it was a B minus. What makes it worse was that Ms Hennily told me it was ‘disappointing for someone of my standard.’ _I understand that she’s trying to help, but now I feel like crap._

“Riley, I’ve been trying to tell you something all day and you’ve been brushing me off. What is up with you?” “Maya, I’m a little busy.” She scoffs, shaking her head, “Isn’t that just how it goes with you? I suppose you eventually have to get to the important things.” I take a deep breath, trying to stop myself from getting agitated. _She’s got so much on her mind right now, she needs to get it out. You just happen to be right there._

“Maya, if you are trying to say that you’re not my priority, please don’t. You know I’m here for you, I just need a couple of moments to get this done.” “Yeah well,” she leans against bedpost, her keeping up a façade of calmness, “Maybe, if those couple of moments didn’t span our entire relationship, I’d be more reassured.”

I know exactly what she’s getting at. I’ve been having to cancel plans with her for a while and she isn’t very happy about that. I blow all the air out of my nose, looking at her sharply. “Maya. I’m sorry I haven’t been paying all my attention to you. But you know how much this scholarship means to me.” She starts to speak again, but I don’t let her get a word in, “Maya, I want a future. For you and me.”

This was not the right thing to say. “Sorry, I forgot that you were going to be the sole provider. Silly me, thinking I had a future.” She replies coldly. “That’s not what I meant.” “No Riley, I know what you meant.” Her eyes flash as she continues, “You think you have to provide, because you think I can’t. You need a promising future because I don’t have one.” She laughs bitterly “You’re just like everyone else.

Now it’s my turn to get angry. “I have been by your side since I met you! I have been with you through it all. Don’t you dare say that.” She is shocked by my outburst, but quickly regains her composure. “Maya.” I speak again, softer this time, “If you honestly can’t see that you’re the first person I want in my world, then maybe you should just go home.”

She stiffens, head darting to the open bay window. She looks back at me, eyes now clouded over with steely resolve, “You want me to go home?” There is complete silence. “Fine. I’ll go home.” And just like that, Maya climbs out my window, onto my fire escape and away from me. I don’t stop her. I don’t say anything at all. I close my laptop and put my head in my hands. I abandon the essay, knowing is won’t be done the minute the first sob emerges from my throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god guyyysss im such a piece of shit  
> I don't have a legitimate excuse, I can basically say it was writers block + bad timing  
> Forgive me for the hiatus, and the fact that i made have just destroyed your souls with this chapter  
> (my bad?)  
> any thoughts?


	12. Chapter 12

Chemistry:

Noun (u) / ˈkɛmɪstri/

The reason it hurts so much

 

The week following that event has not been my greatest. If I’m going to be completely honest I can’t remember the last time I left my room, besides from when I go to school or my friends attempt to cheer me up. I hope they’ll give up soon. From what I can gather they’re doing the same for her. It’s nice that they’re not picking sides. A part of me wishes they would. _What is becoming of me?_

I know it’s not her fault. I can understand that. But I can’t bring myself to put the complete blame on me either, though in the middle of a late-night crying-fest I seem to think a little differently. I feel completely pathetic, curled up under my covers with the lights off. But that doesn’t make me move from my current position.

“That’s it. This is ridiculous.” My mother’s voice breaks through the silence of the room and I shield my eyes from the sudden flood of light, “Get up.” She prompts.

“I thought it was the father who was supposed to do the sharp reprimanding.” I turn onto my side, blowing a piece of hair out of my face.

She chuckles, “Your father isn’t the best at convincing scolding.”

I don’t reply and the woman takes this as her cue to apply force. She rips the covers off of me and hooks her arms under my shoulders.

“Besides,” she continues, hoisted me up and dragging me towards the window, “I’m just so good at it.”

I snort despite the fact that I am in no position to be haughty. She sits down by the window and pulls me with. I end up curled into her with my head laying in her lap. If I weren’t so out of it I would applaud her efforts. The petite woman managed to pull me all the way across the room with her pure mom-strength. She sighs and brings her hands to my hair.

“Honey, what’s wrong?”

 _I miss her._ “I’m just tired.”

My mother lets out a thoughtful breath of air. “It seems you’ve been tired for quite a while now.”

There’s a long pause. I close my eyes before speaking, “What was it like falling in love with dad?”

Her hands still in thought. “I don’t think it was love at first sight. I knew him since he was a boy, so that was off the table. It happened quietly over the years. I think I loved him before I even realised it, before I even knew what it meant. “

“But what was it like? What is it supposed to feel like?” I sit up to look at her confused expression.

“I don’t think it’s _supposed_ to feel a certain way for anyone.” She takes my hand in hers and squeezes it, “But for me, it was always a take it or leave it fact. I did my thing and he did his. He is him and I am I. And if we end up together then it’s beautiful, and we did.” 

"Love shouldn't be about control Riley," she continues, "You're two different people, you both have to accept that and learn to work with it."

She leans over and kisses my forehead. “I’m not too sure what this has to do with you and Maya though.”

I let out and audible gasp. My mother laughs, “What, you thought we didn’t know?”

“Does Dad?” I stammer out, pressing my hands to my scarlet cheeks.

She shrugs, “It’s pretty obvious, but your father is less than perceptive.”

With that, she gets up and exits, leaving me with a swirling head and a newfound resolve. _I’m going to make things right._

* * *

 

I arrive to school the next day with the decision to sort thing out with Maya the moment I see her, but that moment never arrives. She wasn’t there at registration, which isn’t really unusual, and then I spot her in the halls during the day. At first, I thought she was avoiding me, which we’d both taken up the habit of doing recently. Then she didn’t show to any classes that we share, and now I’m hyper-aware off her absence.

I ask everyone I can think of, but nobody has any idea where the blonde could be. I enter my chemistry classroom and sit down next to Lucas; Zay and I switched seats the lesson after my fight with Maya. I put my head in my arms the minute I touch the seat.

“Well Hello to you too.” He grumbles, used to my mood.

Our replacement teacher is late to class, and everyone seems to be taking full advantage of it. I continue my attempts to sleep, despite my loud classmates and louder thoughts. I’m just about to fall asleep when a tug on my arm rouses me. I groan, refusing to lift my head.

“Riley,” Zay flicks me on the head, “Your phone is ringing.”

He gets no response and continues to flick every reachable part of my body, “It’s Maya.”

I sit up so fast I feel a bit of a head rush. Zay rolls his eyes and hands me the vibrating cell phone. I see it is in fact Maya calling before I press answer.

“Hello?”

“Riles?” I loud sniffle comes from the other side. The line is crackly, and I can hear plenty of voices in the background. I latch my focus onto one voice alone.

“Maya, where are you?” I keep my voice calm and steady, but inside I’m a complete wreck.

“I’m at Metropolitan Hospital Centre. It’s on first Avenue. Riley-I...” her sentence is breaks off into choked sobs.

“Maya, what happened?” I urge her

“My mother had a stroke. They’re performing a procedure to stabilize her and remove the tumour. Riley, I need you.”

I stand up abruptly from my desk, causing most of the class to pause their conversations.

“I’m coming Maya. Don’t worry.”

“I don’t know where you think you’re going, or why you have a phone out during lessons. Name?” Our replacement has finally arrived, with perfect timing too. He looks young, which is perhaps why he’s attempting to intimidate us before he’s even introduced himself.

“Riley Matthews.” I answer. The entire class has gone silent, and anyone who wasn’t paying attention to his presence is now completely tuned in. Heads flicker between us, eager to watch the drama unfold.

“Well Ms Matthews, care to explain where you’re racing to?”

I swallow, “I need to go to the bathroom. It’s girl troubles.”

“Well, you should have thought of that before you got to class. Now, please be seated.”

I resist the urge to bang my head against the table, slowly sinking back into my seat. His gaze settles behind me, “Yes Miss?”

I turn around to see Missy, lowering her hand and directing her best venomous smile at the man.

“Bradford. I just wanted to know if you enjoy cleaning blood off of the seats?”

The man is stunned by her question, phrase in a sugary voice, but filled with enough malice to knock him backwards. Before he can stammer a reply, and Missy uses the lapse of time to continue her attack.

“That seems like the only viable reason for you to be refusing to let this clearly stricken girl out of class. Do you know what menstruation is like?” He continues to splutter and Missy scrunches her nose up and hums.

“No, I didn’t think so. So how about this. You let the young lady go to the bathroom and take care of the dreaded things of which you know nothing,” She flashes him a bright smile, all teeth and no sympathy, “And I refrain from taking you to the school board for sexism and gross-incompetence. Sound like a plan?”

He scratches the back of his neck, completely speechless, before wordlessly writing out a hall pass and holding it out for me.

 “Thank you.” I state softly, to no one in particular.

I sling my bag onto my shoulder and take the slip from the defeated man. My eye’s find Missy, and she stares back at me with an almost sheepish expression. I give her a cool nod, and I see her return it as I turn to exit. She is nowhere near redemption, but I feel as if a rivalry died today.

* * *

 

I run up to the front counter, frantically asking a woman in blue if she knows the location to a “Katy Hart”. Before she can reply I hear a choked cry coming from the door to her left.

“Riley!”

I sprint towards Maya and gather her up into my arms. She feels smaller than she was when I last saw her, but the emotion the embrace brings is still the same. I hold her tight against me, like I’m trying to absorb her through my skin. She clings tightly, burying her face into my neck and warming it with her tears.

She pulls away to look at me. She places her hands on either side of my face. “You came.”

“Of course I did peaches. I will always do my best by you.”

She pulls me into another hug. “I’m so glad you’re here,” She whispers into my shoulder, “My world needs you in it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with the newest craptacular edition...  
> well shit, look who discover a new editing format!  
> am I going to edit the other chapter to match it?  
> pfft, no.  
> I hope I revived some of you (did ya'll really think I would keep them apart for more than a chapter?)


	13. Chapter 13

Chemistry:

Noun (u) / ˈkɛmɪstri/

What gets you through it all

 

When you’re sitting in a hospital waiting room, time becomes meaningless. I know time must have passed; when I arrived it was light, then it became dark, now it’s light again. But if you were to ask me exactly how long I have spent, Maya curled into my side, I wouldn’t be able to answer you. I push the hair from out of her face. She eventually tired herself out from crying and fell asleep against me, her head in my lap. I take this time to look at how exhausted she is.

People have come and gone: Lucas, Zay and Xavier, Smackle and Farkle, my parents. They all started to leave when it started getting late. My parents wanted Maya and I to come home with them, but Maya was already asleep and I wasn’t going to move. My mother agreed reasonably quickly, more for Maya’s sake then mine. Her husband looked over at us, my finger running through her hair and one of her arms thrown around my waist. He looked as if he wanted to say something, but instead he smiled softly and kissed me on the forehead and left.

I’ve familiarised myself with the room; crisp white, with the kind of seats that stick to your legs if you try to move them. I find myself wondering why the other people are here. A birth? A disease? A broken bone? I snap my head towards the door as a nurse hurries into the room, breaking my thought-wave. The silence peaks, as if everyone in the room is holding their breath, hoping and dreading she is going to call out the name that brings them here.

“Katy Hart.” After a bit of shaking on my part, Maya and I stumble to our feet and head towards the woman. So many hours spent in this room, and at this moment it all seems so irrelevant. None of that matters after she gives us the information we require.

“The surgery was a success.” Maya covers her face with her hands, letting out a sigh of disbelief as she tears up. I tug her into me and I can feel the relief seeping out of her body. The nurse smiles and switches her clipboard to the other hip.

“She is in room 204 on the fifth level, left wing. You can come in and see her soon, but she might not be awake yet. Also remember not to overwhelm her, she needs rest.” With that the woman turns and exits, an angel in scrubs.

Maya quickly dries her eyes with the back of her hand. She then throws her arms around my neck and squeezes me tight. She pulls away, holding me at arm’s length, “Do you want to meet her?”

I put my hand over her one on my shoulder “Isn’t it a bit soon to meet the parents?” I tease, resisting the urge to become an emotional wreck myself. I sniffle and nod “I’d love to.”

She takes my hand and kisses it, before tugging me out of the room and in the direction of her mother. I notice myself unconsciously smoothing down my hair and pants in the elevator. _Get it together Riley. It’s no big deal. You’re just meeting your more than friend’s (You should really ask her about that label) mother for the first time. And she happens to be recovering from an emergency surgery. Maybe she’ll be on so many meds that she won’t even notice you?_

The elevator door slides open and Maya is already pulling me down the hall. I count the doors on the way. _208\. 207. 206. 205._ I tug Maya back by our interlocked hands.

“Are you sure?”

She furrows her eyebrows, “Of course I’m sure, unless...” She falters, “You don’t want to?”

“No!” I shake my head vigorously, “That’s not it at all. It’s just, what if she doesn’t like me?”

She chuckles, “Honey, everyone likes you. You’re like literal sunshine.”

I flush spreads on my face as I shake my head, “I don’t want to make a fool of myself.”

Maya squeezes my hand. “You won’t. And if you do,” She leans forward to peck my cheek, “Which you won’t, I’ll be a fool with you. Rather that than anything without you.”

She quietly opens the door and we slip inside. My eyes scan the room quickly. The room is the same clinical white as the rest of the hospital, but the drawn curtains are in a floral pattern. They look like abstract lilies. My gaze falls onto the bed, and in it sits a blonde-haired woman. The famous Katy Hart.

She is small and willowy, and looks too young to be the mother of an eighteen-year-old. I can pick out many of the traits that she gave to Maya. Blonde hair? Check. Blue eyes? Check. Shorter than me? Probably. But mostly I can see the “bigger than life” personality coming through. She sits daintily, reading through a magazine. She looks completely calm, even a little bored.

Her eyes brighten at the sight of her daughter, and she straightens up. “Hey there pumpkin.”

“Hi mom.” Maya’s voice is thick with emotion as she rushes over to embrace Katy.

She presses a kiss to her daughter’s head and rocks her back and forth. “Shhhh it’s alright.”

I shift from foot to foot. I feel as if I’m intruding on a sacred interaction between them. Katy eye’s eventually fall on me and she smiles warmly.

“And who might this be?”

Maya detangles herself from her mother’s arms. “Oh, my bad.” She chuckles, walking over to me and interlacing our fingers. “Mom, this is Riley.”

“It’s very nice to meet you Ms. Hart.” I say.

“Please,” she replies, “Call me Katy.”

* * *

“You guys have no idea how relieved I was.”

“What did you think was going to happen?” Xavier grins, “She was going to jump out of the hospital bed and throw you out of the room?”

I snort into my coffee at the image. It’s a sunny afternoon and the entire group, minus Maya, sits on various picnic blankets at a small park near **Topanga’s.** It’s been a good afternoon, we managed to score Lucas a cute girl’s number (though that was really mostly him) and get to know Xavier a little better. I’d be completely at ease if it wasn’t for the lateness of my girlfriend. _Girlfriend. Don’t you love that word?_

I watch Farkle feed a giggling Smackle strawberries and I scoff good-naturedly. “Jesus, it’s like you’re trying to beat Zay and Xavier for most vomit-inducing couple.”

Lucas chuckles, “They’d have to do more PDA then that to beat Zay and Xavier. Seriously, I’m surprised neither of their lips have fallen off.”

Xavier blushes and hides his face in his boyfriend’s neck. Zay splutters, “Excuse me, after all the times I’ve had to watch random girl’s grind on you at parties, I think you can put up with a little bit of my happy committed relationship. And you,” He turns to me, “Can keep quiet, because you and Maya aren’t exactly saints when it comes to PDA either.”

I blush, my mind immediately going back to what Zay had walked in on the other day. Should I have had Maya’s hand up my top on the counter of her kitchen? No. But Zay shouldn’t just walk into other people’s kitchens.

“Where is your other half Riley?” Questions Smackle from where she lies in Farkles lap.

“She’s visiting her mom. You know she gets out on Monday.”

Farkle smirks, “Oh no, now where will you go for elicit make-out sessions?”

I throw an apple at him; which Lucas catches and then begins eating. I’m just about to call Farkle out on the time I walked in on him and Smackle in a tucked away corner of the library, whena pair of hands is pressed over my eyes.

“Guess who?” A familiar voice enters my ear, her breath tickling my neck.

“Hmmm,” I pause for a moment, “Don’t know, too hard.”

She presses a kiss to the side of my neck “Really?”

I shrug, her hands still over my eyes. “I know a lot of people.”

She laughs, “Oh I’m so sure.” She removes her hands from my eyes and tilts my head to the side for a kiss. I pull away and scrunch my nose at her lovingly.

“Oh Maya, when did you get here?”

She shakes her head amusedly, before her eyes light up suddenly. She reaches into the pocket of her jacket, before retrieving an already opened envelope and shoving it into my hand.

I raise my eyebrows at her, “What’s this?” She smiles and pushes it further into my hand, spurring me to open it. I pull out a folded sheet of printed paper, embellished with a familiar symbol. I scan the paper until I see the words “You have been accepted”.

I pounce on Maya, the both of us landing on the picnic blankets with a sound thump. Conversations are paused to look at us but I can’t bring myself to care about the attention we’re drawing.

“You told me you didn’t apply!” I yell

She flushes sheepishly under me, “Looking back, that may have not been the best decision.”

Lucas plucks the acceptance letter from my hands, “You got into NYU? Sweet.”

“Oh shit!” Zay snatches the paper from Lucas. “What course are you doing?”

“Majoring in visual arts, minoring in business studies.” Maya groans from under me, starting to take the strain of my weight. I Climb off her and give her a long glare.

“You’ll be in the same building as Zay and I.” Xavier smiles warmly at Maya. “I’m doing illustration. Zay’s studying photography.”

“Damn, I thought I’d finally gotten rid of you.” Zay teases.

I break the conversation with a loud an exasperated, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to know if I didn’t get in,” She shrugs, “And I know you like surprises so...”

I smile, “I have never once said that.”

She leans close and moves a stray hair from my face. “Your face says it all.”

She then brings her lips onto mine, and is immediately forgiven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm actually satan, my bad?   
> I want to have an excuse, but I don't, so please take this humble and fluffly chapter and forgive my hiatus   
> With many loves,   
> (OH and I hope you're ready for the last chapter (It's gonna be in Maya's POV))

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you guys enjoy this (Like pls I'm trying really hard)  
> I'm sorry it's short but ehh  
> Comment suggestions if you have  
> Thank you for reading - an_aggravated_bisexual


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